Midsummer Night's Induced Coma

Going off-line for a month

See you'se all mooks in 30 days, give or take (you give, I'll take).

With great hope, absolutely nothing of value, interest, or portent will take place over the next 4 weeks. Of course, should something of value, interest, or portent take place, I trust you'll hunt it, grab it, nail it, skin it, kiss it, kill it, and shove an apple in its beak for the grand return.

It's summer, people: get a nice sultry photo of Mills in his swammin' trunks holding a glock, so we have something to show for when it's really hot and muggy.

Or, wait, nevermind, here you go:

have a nice day.

Cancer = Death; Death = Silence; Silence = ?

No doubt one of--if not the--most emotionally charged points against Mills is his statement to a student who had returned to his class after arriving at a miraculous remission of her cancer. The debate as to his conduct here has to do with (at least) two variations on whatever actual comment he made. Here is a paraphrasing of the alleged intents:

1. Because you choose not to put up your work for public scrutiny in my class as promised, I wish you had died of cancer.

2. Because you choose not to put up your work for public scrutiny in my class as promised, your participation has become null and void, much as death would have rendered you, much as your now seemingly vanquished cancer would have allowed.

It's this heaty distinction that makes me glad for any time that a media outlet chooses a phrasing more in line with the way that Perry Mills actually approaches the nature of scholarship and that terrible immortality-allowant pursuit we call art. So, while this piece does mitigate the nature of the quote by insisting it is "Mills' version", rather than that of, I don't know, the more objective clan fist-raising for his head on a spike, here we have from insidehighered.com:

Drama Professor's Barbs Debated at Western Washington

A recent Washington State appeals court ruling has forced Western Washington University once again to debate the comments of Perry Mills, a drama professor accused of repeatedly making bullying or abusive remarks to students and faculty members, The Seattle Times reported. The appeals court did not fault the decision of a university panel to suspend Mills for two quarters without pay, but the court found that by not opening the hearing to the public, the university violated the professor's rights. The Times article looks at how Mills is seen by some as a powerful instructor and by others as a bully. At faculty meetings, Mills allegedly called his colleagues "idiots," "maggots" and "the usual." In one incident where his words are in dispute, he criticized a student recovering from chemotherapy who was hesitant to present her work in class. In Mills' version, he said, "If you don't put up your work, it's just as if you died of cancer and aren't here at all."

Because it's just so much fun to weed through comments, let's hear your own. Look at that quote. Do you make sense of it more in line with my previous paraphrase #1 or previous paraphrase #2?

Now please enjoy these immortal anecdotes:

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.”

-- Albert Pine, English author, died 1851

“Immortality is not a gift, Immortality is an achievement; And only those who strive mightily Shall possess it.”

-- Edgard Lee Masters, American poet, died 1950

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”

-- Woody Allen, New York filmmaker, died sometime between Hannah and her Sisters and Manhattan Murder Mystery

Another Former Student: Some of us Mills folk are doing just fine, thanks!

An op-ed letter written to the Seattle Times' Online Letters to the Editor section by a former Mills student, attesting to the eventual successes of people like himself--those who entered Mills' classes and came out the other end wholly intact and ready for more!

WWU professor under fire

Many former students doing well

The article about Western Washington University drama professor Perry Mills was woefully one-sided ["Professor says he provokes, but others call it abusive." page one, June 9]. The reporter failed to interview students who are supportive of Mills, of which there are many.

Theatre is an extremely difficult business, yet WWU students have had great success in part due to Mills. Below is a short list of former students of Mills who have worked professionally in theater:

Braden Abraham, associate artistic director at Seattle Rep (and frequent director of shows there and elsewhere);

Alycia Delmore, longtime local actress who recently appeared in "Hump Day," which was an award winner at Sundance;

Barzin Akhavan, professional actor who has been featured in plays across the country including Seattle Rep, San Jose Rep and is currently starring in the play adaptation of "Kite Runner";

Galen Joe Osier, local actor who recently starred in "Crime & Punishment" at Intiman Theatre;

Jon Lutyens, local Seattle actor;

Jason Martin, published playwright.

And that's just off the top of my head. These are not English/psychology/education majors who took a theater class here and there. These are theater majors who had Mills as a professor in multiple classes. They are working professionals.

I humbly suggest you interview one of them, or myself. I spent eight years as a professional actor/director. Please do your research before defaming a professor without the whole story.

-- Jan van Amerongen, Class of 1998, BA Theatre Arts, Seattle

Read this piece in its native home and the usual ancillary blog-opinions here.

If you--or anyone you know of--has sailed on Mills' scholar ship and are doing "just fine, actually" or even better, let us know!

Former Student to WWU President: Mills Made Me A Man--Be One Yourself!

June 10, 2009

Bruce Shepard
President
Western Washington University

Dear Dr. Shepard,

I am writing an open letter to you today regarding Professor Perry Mills. I am deeply troubled and still somewhat ashamed by the University's conduct toward Professor Mills, and the vast misunderstanding that fuels his detractors' purpose. Their familiar refrain states that Professor Mills engages in slanderous, offensive behavior, cares little for his student population, and seeks self-affirmation through their abuse. Besides being baseless and hyper-reactionary, these emotional appeals cloud a broader, more important issue: what are the fiscal obligations of the university to its students, and why are these pseudo-issues employed to hide the fact that thousands of dollars in student funds were stolen and misappropriated? Must we all idly watch while a court ruling specifically cites the Theatre Department Chair for this action, even though the now-overturned judge erroneously stated that the university had not engaged in embezzlement because the records they kept of the stolen funds (!) were not falsified? Professor Mills opened himself to censure by insisting that the university uphold the trust of tuition-paying students. The more I read and hear of this escapade, the more saddened I am at Western's refusal to address the issue, thereby forgiving the perpetrators of this pathetic disgrace.

This meddlesome disgust pales in comparison to the largest question you must answer: the function of your university in the academic world. The course of a true college student is hazardous; every premise begotten to us by our parents in our most formative years is questioned and examined, and ethical questions are answered in ways that elementally change us as individuals. This is how it should be. True scholarship is not a sport or a pastime; it is a disciplined adherence to the practice of questioning ideas and beliefs (political, sociological, empirical or otherwise) until those ideas and beliefs are found to be true or false. Professor Mills' invective, which I rarely saw in the three years in which I insisted on attending at least one of his classes every quarter, was saved for those who would not engage the material, and who refused the tools of learning that Mills so ardently offered on a daily basis. To these people, Professor Mills offered a clear choice: think and create or disappear.

I have never witnessed a single event in which Professor Mills derided a student for being wrong as long as that student made an effort to think about the subject at hand. Even when presented with student-written plays that most people would find pathologically perverse, Mills questioned his students' motives within their work rather than impeaching their values. Mills also made certain that his students perform and test their work, and encouraged student works zealously while his colleagues bestowed leading roles in college plays upon themselves, thus preventing students from honing their tools through practice. These tools--inductive and deductive reasoning, avid passion for scholarship, practice, and ceaseless, pointed questioning--have proven invaluable to me as a man and as a member of society.

As a new legal and public hearing nears on this subject, you have a clear choice ahead of you as the President of WWU. Will you endorse your academic principles and demand that your students behave as scholars who engage the coursework and seek true higher learning, or will you adopt the position that your students be treated as fragile and that their feelings and comfort be given primary concern, even at the cost of scholarship?

I submit to you as a graduate of WWU that no scholar will find comfort in anything less than the pursuit of knowledge. Only a non-student--an anti-intellectual--will ask that their feelings be regarded above the development of their mind. Dorothy Sayers wrote: "For the sole true end of education is simply this; to teach men how to learn for themselves; and whatever instruction fails to do this is effort spent in vain." Professor Mills' teaching style exemplifies Ms. Sayers' concept of scholarship. To fulfill this aim, we need courageous, eager students and professors who do not dull their pedagogical methods to validate a student population that refuses to engage the scholastic method.

Nearly a decade later, the reason I happily pay installments on my student loan is that Professor Mills alone made my tuition worth every penny: he refused to teach me what to think, and taught me how to think instead.

Sincerely yours,

Rick Banuelos
WWU Class of 2000
cc:
Seattle Times
Gov. Christine Gregoire
Seattlepi.com
Bellingham Herald
Perry F. Mills
The Western Front

Modern Journalism: Bair and Falanced

So the Seattle Times didn't get the photo wrong as previously predicted (Perry really does look like that when he's crammed into a Lynchian hallway with a harsh perspective and ferociously ethereal lighting)--instead they got the facts of the story wrong. Hooray for the vacuous lickspittles of modern journalism!

"The university's action was upheld May 26 by a state appeals court, except for one costly flaw: The court ruled the whole process must start over again because Mills' disciplinary hearing was closed to the public."

Of course, as all ye faithful readers remember--and the Goode Apostle Paul de Armond was quick to point out--the university's Aktion was overturned and not upheld. But really, isn't overturned just a synonym for upheld? As in "Molly invented the applepine downside-up cake by using a recipe she got from the Seattle Times, having accidentally upheld the paper in an overturned manner."

Reed it yore shelf here:

Seattle Times: Is WWU drama professor provocative, or an abusive bully?

Demand a retraction if you prefer your fiction left to cable TV news media... Otherwise, subscribe.

2.5 DECADES LATER--GROWNUP STUDENT(s) WAKE FROM TRANCE: PERRY MILLS WAS SOMETHING ELSE--AND WASN'T NO BREEZE!

This rare bit of hindsight from Rate My Professor, the generally insipid academic water cooler of undergraduate revenge:

"I took Perry Mill's classes in 1985 at Western. I found my thoughts drifting to him today. I did not appreciate Perry at the time. Twenty Four years later, I do! I've grown up and know what was going on in his classes now. Pay attention and show respect. What you perceive as rudeness may actually be something else."

An update! Another student from the days of yore speaks out!

"I had Perry as a Prof for a Theater/Arts film class back in '84. I thought I could breeze in and scoop up an A. Wrong! Perry didn't let anyone breeze through anything. He actually demanded me to think and when I resisted he goaded, challenged, berated me into at least trying. I respect the hell out of the man and consider him a damn good professor."

Read these and slightly less ancient opinions at: RateMyProfessor.com/PerryMills

BRUTAL BATTLE BANNER GOES VIRAL!

This just in from Paul de Armond:

This ought to get us a whole shitsmear of unwanted foot traffic! Excellent.

If you're new to us here at Brutal Battle: say hi.

And remember: BE NICE. We're all about NICE here. Just like Perry himself.

There's also a rumor going around that a plane will be towing a similar banner over the heads of all the pretty graduates during commencement on Saturday, June 13th. If you're in the Bellingham area, race over to campus, look up and snap a shot or two of the plane. Then send your photos along to perryfmills@yahoo.com for immediate publication here...

News Aggregator

Little is ever as simple as it seems. Big is even less simple.

So, in honor of the girth of this situation, and its lack of simplicity, here are several links to articles that manage, through careful wording, to sway the timbre of recent news to imply that Dear Professor is still really the one at fault here.

If you have the stomach for it, you can also read the simpering cesspit of local opinion. There's little as enjoyable as slogging through the opinions of people who have no background facts to get in their precious way. There's big as enjoyable as that, too.

Bellingham Herald: WWU Professor disciplined for abusive remarks to get new hearing

Seattle P.I.: New discipline hearing ordered for WWU professor

Western Front: Previously suspended professor gets new hearing

All three rather redundant, but we're trying to be Perry completists here...

Now for all you lawyers out there chasing this particular ambulance:

courthousenewsservice.com: Suspended professor entitled to new hearing

That one got the facts wrong and the fictions boring. So here's:

northwesteducationlaw.com: Suspended WWU professor is entitled to a new hearing

(Note: Mills is entitled to a new hearing, this was not forced upon him as the other headlines seem to suggest--amazing that it took two law sites to word the thing properly)

And then our own frequent guest contributor and stalwart yeoman or centurion or whatever, Paul de Armond (to whom thanks goes for two of the above links) also has this piece on offer, which thoughtfully spells out the steps in the offensive timeline starting with Mills shining light on misappropriated students funds to the point where then-department-chair Mark Kuntz had him fired to just about where we are now:

Northwest Citizen: The Fall of the West(ern): Perry Mills gets a new roll in the barrel

And now the coupe de grace: this essential, quite thorough piece written by a former student (and to which Paul contributed). Definitely worth your reading (not least for the fact that this article seems to be the only one for laymen, rather than lawmen, which sports a headline implying that Mills has earned a new hearing and is not having one foisted upon him against his wishes):

Cascadia Weekly: SAVAGED BY SHEEP - WWU professor disciplined for abusive style earns a new hearing

Word from the Big Man himself has just arrived in Ye Olde Snail Mail that a Seattle Times photog is on the way to get his visage wrong for their upcoming spread. Stay tuned for those results...

WIN -- WIN -- WIN -- WIN -- WIN -- WIN -- WIN

Voicemail from Youknowwho...

"I won the lawsuit against the University! They have to rescind everything and give me all my lawyer fees... Dancing in the streets, baby..."

There's the emotional shot in the arm you were all looking for, those of you who have stood in line long enough to receive it...

Enjoy.

J. Buckley Sykes

Mills in the Box

So, WWU finally woke up to the fact that Perry really is back on campus teaching small people how to think big (and likely getting hurt in the process.) They've heeded our universal demand for Mills to be featured (or included at all, really) on their Theatre Department Faculty Webpage. (He's not allowed in the real-life, uncyber Performing Arts Center itself, but that's a privilege hardly worth the battle.)

How the swine got beat back from their weird stance that Perry is not technically a member of the Theatre Department Faculty--disregarding his course load, which is comprised of only theatre classes--and so could be excluded, is at this point unknown to us. If any of you out there in Brutal Battle Land know the scoop, fill us in. And those who may have helped that along after reading the Back to School! post in Sept., 2008, many thanks for speaking up.

Anyhow, since the Good Professor is doing his goshdarndest to get his young charges to wax beyond the box, the only intelligent response is to stick him back in one.

If you've actually invested the time (roughly 8 seconds) to read the official Mills Bio on the WWU site, I'm sure you had a chuckle or three at the occasional Millsism that managed to slip past the censor's loupe and stamp. But since this post is unofficial, and we don't believe in scrubbing the planet clean with sweat, blood and bleach like the sh*t s*cking f*ckn*ts at Western, we thought it might be fun to offer the four alternate (and mostly longer) versions Perry wrestled with before arriving at the one that steals only 92 words worth of power away from his headshot, which we reproduce here:

1. (74 words) - Perry F. Mills teaches (read: taught) Aesthetics, Film, Dramatic Literature, Playwriting and patience. His book on film studies is in the library and out of print. During the past five years he has been on a picaresque adventure, details @ [he lists this blog's URL, which would be self-indulgent and perilous to the space-time continuum to actually re-link to here] and he is currently enjoying a unique relationship with his cohort. Take a class with him if you want to sample academic diversity. He's not good looking, but he's hard to kill.

Okay, so far so good. Not a whole lot to split hairs over (or the nits in them). I can easily imagine the reasons WWU ended up excising the link to our blog since they're a festering stool sample of cowardliness (though they'd probably cite something like "impartiality maintenance".) But on to the other #2.

2. (101 words) - Perry F. Mills applies the Socratic method to the sedate study of Film, Aesthetics, Composition and Dramatic Literature when he is not basking in the glow of his unique relationship with his cohort. His film text Simply Cinema is in the library and out of print. His playwriting students have won many awards and are currently in production in NYC and London. He has no outstanding warrants for his arrest and is expected to live out the year. For details and extrapolated blandishments, check out the website [again he lists our URL]. He's not good looking but he's hard to kill.

Okay, maybe that one is a little rambly. And since WWU is all about advertising (I wonder do they still have giant Coke ad banners manning every door of the PAC like Imperial Guards or Swastika Tapestries?) it's no surprise that the marketing mavens saw the word "sedate", looked for it here between "Security Needs" and "Segment Transcriptors", saw that the word doesn't *actually exist*, and cleansed it. I assume they suffered similar ados about "extrapolated blandishments." (Is anyone else wondering about this "cohort" and the nature of this "relationship"? No? Good, that means you appreciate privacy which is odd for someone currently on the internet. Moving on...)

3. (118 words) Perry F. Mills has been herding yuppie larvae for the state since 1980, except for a five-year break suggested by his cohort. His methods are viewed with suspicion by the "Exceptional" and the dull. He is so esteemed by his peer group [sic] that he is excused from the onerous duties of attending faculty meetings and entering the Performing Arts Center. He is a known whistle-blower and has been suspected of various fabricated lies currently on view @ [us, here, now]. He cannot be trusted to cover-up corporate crime and the popular Ponzi-scheme you are planning, so don't tell him about such. Get out of his way and let him do the work.

Oh, shit, I think I get who the "cohort" is now. Sorry, I's a touch slow. Alma-mater Syndrome.

4. (159 words) Perry F. Mills was hired by the founder of the C.F.P.A. (William Gregory) to further the Liberal Arts component of the Fine and Performing Arts curriculum. For 30 years he has espoused a standard and a style which is a challenge to those who have neither, has endured duress and insult from palace politicians and criminal maladroits, and has maintained the highest expectations in the face of compromise and Philistinism. If you wish to take a class from a scholar cast in the traditional mold, take his classes; if you want to slide by on an unexamined sinecure, avoid him. This is no joke: sit up straight, get serious and explore diversity in Academia before it vanishes forever down the drain of mollycoddling and dreck that characterizes the courses you complain about when you "get real" with friends. The choice is yours; can you afford to take it easier than you already do? Get busy...

- Palace Politicians and Criminal Maladroits
- The Face of Compromise and Philistinism
- An Unexamined Sinecure
- The Drain of Mollycoddling
- The Drain of Mollycoddling and Dreck

Which of these wouldn't you like to see as the title of the film that will inevitably get made about this brutal battle??? I think the whole marketing department quit and created a version of Cirque du Soleil in Afghanistan after reading this one.

So...vote on which one you like the best! Or better yet, compose one of your own and if I get enough responses to not have it seem like a desperate plea for further flogging of a dead horse, I'll re-post them in a new post and thereby create a Bio-Feedback Post Loop!

Or better yet go read something more 'ducational...

Now where's that Molly when you need some coddling?

Simple Facism!

Raise your hand if you knew that Perry Mills was a published author.

Now raise your hand if you knew that Perry Mills was an out of print published author.

Now raise it if you knew that anyone ever read that book before (or after) it went out of print.

Now quit sieg-heiling, because you look like a "facist".

Two reviews of Simply Cinema by Perry F Mills, further showing how evenly divided this tiny world is on Dear Professor:

Customer Reviews
Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers.

Simply Facist
Perry F. Mills. What can be said?
There is no wondering why Mills loves his cinema so much - he has completely lost all sense of reality. Frankly, his views terrified me. And I mean, terrified. I wonder how people with such twisted, ignorant, and may I say ARROGANT views even achieve published status. It is laughable that he even has one positive review to his name. He waxes facist but seems to be unsure of himself; his Marxist outbursts make me tremble and even the most amateur of political science students can tell you that they are on the complete opposite ends of the ideaology spectrum. Don't pick up this book expecting to learn more about film. You will be sorely disappointed. Trust me. I expected to broaden my knowledge about the under-rated art form, and instead was reminded why I hold steadfast to the conviction that some people shouldn't be able to procriate.

brilliance
Perry Mills is a genius. He will be the first to admit it, too. His book will be the second. This is not so much a scholarly recitation of movie plots, but an exegesis on the ideas encompassed by some of the most brilliant films of all times. This is one of those books where, after reading it, you are left wondering how it has ever gone out of print and why it isn't on every bookshelf in America.

Your homework: find me other reviews of the book! (Unless you're too busy procriating.)

Results 1 - 10 of about 7,720,000 for facist. (0.06 seconds) Did you mean: fascist?

Clarion Call: Students! Mills is Your Man!

This Op-Ed piece was intercepted by Brutal Battle using cutting edge, state of the art, brand spanking new, recon-surveil methods--which themselves were gleaned using our blunt-edged, artless, ancient recon-surveil methods.

Massive amounts of money changed hands; innocent lives were lost; new diseases were born, old diseases fought them, lost, and were replaced (none of which had anything to do with this post).

Actually, this was sent to us by the author via email, so it couldn't have been easier. In any case, since this student intends this piece for publication by the Opinion Section of The Western Front, it may prove to ultimately be a Brutal Battle exclusive. Only time will tell. Actually, I hope others will tell, too, because I don't want to have to read that paper every week looking for evidence that pro-Mills propaganda isn't getting the short shrift. As always: If you see something, say something. But say it to me, not to a policeman.

In Defense of Mr. Controversy, Professor Perry F. Mills

To the students of WWU: Professor Perry Mills got a bad rap. He’s no monster, no demon. In fact, he’s much more Santa than Satan, much more Jerry Garcia than Johnny Rotten.

He happens to be the most fall-down funny teacher on campus and one of the best. If you are interested in creative writing, the theatre, filmmaking or the artistic process in general, you’re crazy not to seek him out, take his classes and befriend him.

Yeah, he’s controversial, always has been. He’s occasionally shocking but frequently hilarious and brilliant. He sees teaching as a performance art. He wants, above all else, to engage you, to excite your mind, to shake your foundations and question how you see the world.

I was fortunate enough to take five classes with him in my time at Western. He was extremely helpful in building my writing skills and opened my mind to important philosophical and artistic concepts. His “Arts Inquiry” course ought to be taken not only by all art (painting, music, drama, creative writing,) students but also by all philosophy students. You will read great stuff that will get your engines churning and inspire you.

Students don’t know who he is anymore. He’s been kept away from the university for so long that he’s lost the word of mouth that kept students pouring into his courses, not to mention the exposure he got from his large seminar course, “Intro to the Cinema” which hundreds attended each year.

Perry’s suspension was pressed by faculty members who didn’t like him. Since I was not a theatre student myself, I have no criticism of the individuals who have ostracized him on any matter other than this one. My interactions with the department were always pleasant. But on this matter, they made a mistake (which they were proven wrong about) and now he’s back.

Find him, talk to him. If you’ve got a sense of humor, you’ll love him. You artistic minds out there – you know who you are – must find him. He’s at this university, on this earth even, to help creative students prosper. There’s nobody like him. Except maybe you.

Eric Stone
Western alumnus 2004
Dramatic Writing & Video Production degree, through Fairhaven College

Perry Mills Back In The "News"

Extra! Extra!

Extra Large! Extra Cheese!

New article about Perry being back on campus, though still a pariah. Here's the naked "truth"--opinions will follow after a glass of sleep.






Suspended Professor Returns

by Ashley Mitchell

Friday, December 05, 2008

Four years later, after hearings and allegations of harassment and misconduct toward students, Western theater professor Perry Mills resumed teaching classes on campus this fall. Mills, a professor who has taught at Western for more than 25 years, was suspended in the fall of 2004 for one year after the university decided he had violated too many sections of the Code of Faculty Ethics to resume teaching. The Code of Faculty Ethics are specified standards in the Faculty Handbook that professors and faculty are expected to follow and respect. According to documents of a Western hearing panel, composed of professors, the university felt Mills’ behavior toward students and faculty demonstrated a considerable disregard for his faculty duties. The violations ranged from not exercising self-discipline and judgment in the classroom to intimidating and exploiting students. Mills said he feels the university went about his suspension unjustly and illegally. Western wanted him gone and they went searching for ways to do it, he said. He said he has hired a lawyer and other legal help to look further into his suspension. Mills said he is suing because of a process violation. According to university documents, there is supposed to be a formal confrontation of the issue with the professor in question as well as a public hearing before any action is taken. Mills said he was handed a yellow slip, suspending him, and the entire issue was kept a secret before a public hearing occurred. Mills was suspended for one year with pay, but after a hearing panel was held, ended up being suspended without pay from all faculty and teaching privileges for two full academic quarters before he was allowed to return. He was also required to sign a statement that stated, “I agree to comply with the Code of Faculty Ethics for the Faculty of Western Washington University,” in order to teach again. Mills said he felt the university and theater department were looking for ways to kick him out of the university and argues while the university said he violated conduct according to the Faculty Handbook, he had done nothing wrong legally. “They tried to burn me at the stake,” Mills said. “But the stake was wet.” Mills did not resume teaching for more than four years—just enough time for all of the students he had to graduate. He said he is aware of his reputation to newer students, but those worries pale in comparison to his legal issues. “I have never had [Mills] myself as a student,” said Western senior and theater major Kristin Bruce. “But he has a pretty crazy reputation. It’s been a while since he’s been on campus, but he is still known for pushing students to crazy levels and making unusual, ridiculous comments in class.” Upon Mills’ return, guidelines were drawn up for him, according to Whatcom County Superior Court documents. Mills is no longer allowed in the Performing Arts Center, and his office no longer resides in the building. His office is now in Haggard Hall, and his classrooms are in close proximity to his office. “Most other theater faculty members and I have not physically seen [Mills] since his return,” Theatre Department Chair Mark Kuntz said. “It’s pretty whacky because he is no longer connected to the theater department at all, even though he is still a professor and teaches theater classes. That’s pretty hard to find on-campus someone teaching outside a department like that.” Kuntz said he believes Mills hasn’t been welcome at department meetings since his return. Mills was assigned two classes this quarter, and only four students signed up. One of the classes was cancelled, but two students remain in a second class, which he has taught all quarter. According to Class-Finder, it appears more students are signing up for his classes for winter quarter, Kuntz said. The hearing documents contain written instances of students responding well to his challenging teaching methods, but others have been offended by his style. In one particular occasion, which was used by the hearing panel in its decision, a former student of Mills’ wrote a letter to Performing Arts Dean Carol Edwards, who received it on Oct. 12, 2004, about his negative conduct toward the student during a class period. The student was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and took a class from Mills upon her return to campus, according to the written complaint. She became nervous upon presenting one of her projects in front of the class. According to the letter, Mills had said, “If you can’t even put up with your piece for the class then you should have just died of cancer.” In another instance not used by the panel during the hearing, Mills was suspected of harassing Western alumna Shareen Faleafine in the school parking lot. There were several witnesses, but each had a different perception of the events, and the panel could not find any specific set of facts, according to panel documents. Despite what some students perceived as a negative attitude, not every student was put off by his teaching methods and some were even looking forward to his return, Western freshman Bobby Delos-Reyes said. He said he hopes to become a theater major and has had friends rave about Mills’ unusual tactics. “My sister took a class from him and has never taken a more aggravating class in her life,” Delos-Reyes said. “But she loved every minute of it. Some people can take his abusive encouragement and others can’t from what I’ve heard, which is why I think he was suspended. I like challenges and I hope to take a class of his as soon as it works with my schedule.” Mills said his teaching style is designed to make students stronger. He asks questions and calls students out on their mistakes in order to make them think about their work, he said. “This no child left behind thing in schools is what makes students lazy and apologetic,” Mills said. “I may not be liked but I have strong students.” Buckley Sykes, one of Mills’ former students, writes for a blog that was started by former students of Mills’ in support of the professor, even after his suspension. Sykes said he felt the reasons behind Mills’ suspension were personal in nature and thinks Western lost one of its best professors when Mills was suspended. Although no longer a student, Sykes said he is glad to see his mentor back on campus. Sykes said he doesn’t understand why Mills' information is missing from the theater department's biography page. He said he wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not and believes it to be unfair either way. In the blog, Kuntz is referenced as one of the main people who wanted Mills out of the department. “They make me out to be this horrible person,” Kuntz said. “It’s funny because there are two sides to this. People need to know both sides and know that I did what I felt was right.” Kuntz said the bad relationship between Mills and the old department chair, professor Gregory Lawrence Pulver, is one of the main reasons he is not considered a part of the theater department. This is probably the reason Mills' biography isn't on the department's Web site, he said. “Mills is back and teaching and will resume teaching through next quarter,” Kuntz said. “It’ll be interesting to see what happens.” From: The Western Front, December 5, 2008

To Awaken A Sleeping Bear...

Once a sleeping bear has been awoke,
there's little one can do to keep him from tending to his hallowed den...
And once inside his beastly lair...
...the bear boasts mightily of his trophy trove...

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?" asks the bear, stupefied.

The bear thinks, being awake, it must be time to hunt for something to eat.

How now, Black Bear?
What dost thou have in thy mind to do?

"Wouldn't you
like to know?"
We're just curious is all, seeing as how we've stuck by your story for so long.
"Well, stay tuned then, and maybe you just might learn something."

It's high time our bear truly smiled.
Good luck, Dear Bear, in the cold months ahead...

Boycott Reality--Watch Reality TV!

From now until the precise moment that WWU gives us unalienable proof that Professor Perry F. Mills has been properly reinstated as an educator on their campus, I challenge those of us in his corner of the ring to load, refresh, and stay glued to--vigil-style--the WWU Red Square Web Cam. If you should catch site of the dread professor making his disabled rounds around the grounds, give a shout--(remember our mantra: If'n You See's Something, Say's Something!)--and you too can win a FREE PRIZE!

Western Washington University Webcam

Back To School!

Good news, bad news, take it as you will (there's no such thing as "neutral news".) Perry F. Mills, Professor at Large, formerly Deposed Bear of Starling Ethics and Aesthetics, has returned to:

W W U !

In researching WWU's Theatre Department website I couldn't find a single link that actually leads to any academic scheduling, so I can't post that here.

Also, Perry is glibly omitted from the faculty bio page.

More soon as sanctioned material comes my way. With hope we will have the juiciest of juicies online soon: The Various and Sundry Syllabi of Academic Expectations vis a vis the Studious Environs Lorded Over By One Professor Perry F. Mills.

Toss one back for the old boy tonight!

JUSTICE IN ACTION! Mills Brought To His Knees

Where in the world is Perry F. Mills?

To anyone interested in contacting Perry:

Please note that as a self-professed Luddite Bear, and one in deep hibernation, Perry Mills cannot be reached via email. That said, if you would like to touch him through the proverbial bars of Ye Olde Communication Methods known to the human race ahead of the advent of the internet(s), please feel free to email me at perryfmills@yahoo.com, include your address or phone number, or both, and I will pass this information along to the Great Omnivore for his determination as to whether to warmly contact you, ignore you, or send you a bill for unpaid gambling losses.

Freedom of Speech Continues to Chill

New link on the right. This is Mills' attempt to get Washington's Supreme Court to review his appeal of the case. It very clearly breaks down Mills' grievances with WWU's suspending him, the way they handled the suspension, and the way the courts have--so far--treated the situation as a whole.

Click on "Appellant's Statement of Reasons for Direct Review" and then drag your cursor over the stupidly narrow image. When you see a magnifying glass, click with it and the image will--magically-- zoom in to a readable size.
If any of you still have the issue of the student with cancer--and Mills' hard statement to her when she vacillated between putting her work up in class or allowing fear to win over--stuck in your craw, then read his explanation on page 11. If that doesn't convince you--at the very least--that it's possible this issue was blown out of proportion, and--more to the point--taken entirely out of any context, in order to highlight its emotional weight, then go back to looking for updates on the MySpace page for that prostitute that "triggered" the downfall of Eliot Spitzer or price comparisons on bottles of Paris Hilton's perfume or whatever you normally "read".

Can you tell that my favorite line appears at the end?:

"There are no Washington cases which address assertions that the existing disciplinary rules for university professors are unconstitutionally vague and chill the exercise of freedom of speech."

In other words: You've been served. Hello? Served. Is anyone out there? Served!

Would You Let This Man Teach?

I finally understand WWU's problem with this ogre... Anyone who misunderstands the social norm that the word "Cheeeese" is meant to provoke shouldn't be allowed anywhere near impressionable young people on Cheerleading Scholarships.

Washington's Shame = New York's Pride

A smallish, non-fictional town in northern New York State names itself in honor of our stalwart, hearty, hard-hearted, hearth-warming scholar of the evermore, in an attempt to right a few wrongs and bring the ephemeral, but well-intentioned powers of geography to the surer side of goodness and light:

Coordinates of Perry Mills, New York, USA:
Longitude: 73° 30' 22" West
Latitude: 45° 0' 1" North
Perry Mills can be found 34 miles [54 km] to the south of Montréal (QC).

Yes, friends, supporters, and corporate sponsors: there is, indeed, a town in the state of New York known as Perry Mills. Don't believe me? Googlemap it! Try to book a Greyhound ticket from YOUR own unbelievable home station to this hotspot of intellectual curiosity and aesthetic confrontation!

Well, it's unfindable through Greyhound, this much is true, sadly, but--LO!--there has nary been a destination of note that HAS been easily accessed by said odiferous omnibus corp...

Check this chyme out before it passes through the pyloric valve of our plastic way of life:

From a sublisting of the subsection of Wikipedia's entry on the Champlain subregion of New York, sandwiched delicately between notations on Kings Bay Wildlife Management Area and Point a Fer:

Perry Mills -- A hamlet in the northwest part of the town on the Chazy River.

Looking for affordable accommodations to enhance your stay in Perry Mills, NY? Use the INTERNET!

For attractions, please contact the Champlain, NY, Chamber of Commerce and tell Gussie or Mindy-Vespa that you really are looking to find things to do in Perry Mills and that--NO--that wasn't a typo!

Still have no idea what to do in or about Perry Mills, NY? Then rejoice! This is the exact position our Professor, for whom this mythical but still very real town was named, finds himself every day of his frustrated existence as he faces a dwindling bevy of reasons to continue fighting. But oh--sooth!--isn't the FIGHT ITSELF worth the effort? Yes! If you're 12 and believe Iron Man will come to your tent and deliver a magic lantern that will cure your acne and allow locomotives to start by the snap of fingers! Fight! Fight! Fight!

"From across the land they send their teams of great renown,
But on the field of battle they are trampled into the ground,
Pull the Golden Bear,
From his mighty lair,
And we'll drag his carcass with us to the Northland."

So, speed on to Perry Mills and live a moment's weight of stultified usefulness. You're almost there! You have the map, you have the ennui, now all you need is the postcard to commemorate the trip! Just remember: wishing someone else was here doesn't mean "here" will get any better without them, or any worse with their absence! So bring a friend, make a friend, leave a friend, take a friend--but GO! GO and spit in the town well to say:

"I'm a Mills Man, I Sally Forth!"

In memorium: "February 11th, 2008" (another day of unlearning for the ghost-horde of students untaught by non-Professor Perry F. Mills--a drop in the bucket of hope-gapped-eternal...)

Disembodied Voices Continue to Find their Way Home

A letter from another alum, full of unsought, but unsurprising, shame and loathing:

Question Mills decision

Dear Editor,

In regard to Paul deArmond's article about Judge Mura's ruling in favor of WWU's actions in the case of Perry Mills (in the WI issue of Nov. 29, 2007):

Firstly, embezzlement is very clearly defined (citing the Oxford dictionary): "embezzle | em-bez-l | verb [trans.] steal or misappropriate (money placed in one's trust or belonging to the organization for which one works)." There is no stipulation for falsifying records in this (or any) definition. Where is the call for legal subjectivity in this case? Where did this new qualifying circumstance come from? Can justice be exacted both ways, or is Judge Mura placating his county's largest constituency?

Secondly, the idea that the constitutional right to free speech should be confined to course material is terrifying and outrageous. There is no such thing as an "innocent" college student; remember that college students are adults, and removing the right and requirement of open discourse (which can be unpleasant at times, especially for those who obsess over how they feel about what they believe) elementally contradicts the academic process, and robs every college student of the fundamental right to be challenged as an adult. When the right to speak freely is curtailed, either for controversial professors or anti-intellectual college-goers, a university becomes nothing more than a focus group.

Lastly, I find it disgusting that Judge Mura found that WWU acted illegally, yet found that their illegal closed hearing warranted no attention because of a lack of provisions for remedial actions against them. Where is the reason behind this decision? is it not the place of a judge to maintain the rule of law by meting out punishment to those who disobey? What is the point of a law that cannot be enforced?

Having taken classes from both Perry Mills and those seeking to remove him, I am glad that I opted to challenge myself with Mills' persistently demanding coursework, rather than slogging through overbearing, pointless sharing of feelings and ephemeral nonsense with a faculty and student body fixated on simply making themselves feel "good," rather than striving to grow intellectually. If there were any adherence to objectivity, both at the university and in the Whatcom County Superior Court, the value of Perry Mills as an educator would be self-evident, and I would be less ashamed of my alma mater, and the city I used to call home.

Rick Banuelos
Manhattan, Montana
WWU Class of 2000

A Rare Sighting Of The Redbreasted Grizzly, And A Few Grumblings Straight From The Maw Of The Beast Itself

A recently received letter and some photos from our Dear Professor...
(or: Live Feed Straight from the Well-Fed, Still Alive, Perry F. Mills)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

(Pending spelling corrections and change of font)

News Update, New Year 2008!
(Material to be Typed in by a Non-Robot)

After four years of being savaged by sheep, the excised professor bakes zucchini loaf and brandishes a spatula!

Local judicial rulings indicated that the processes stifling this loudmouth were illegal, but it was O.K. with the good old boys downtown, so the egregious suspension was affirmed.

This will be glad news to the State Supreme Court, who will be reviewing this mess shortly. Since no one wants to hear the aggrieved tales from the victim, it's a bit of a guess what is being judged all round....

Perhaps moving the inquiry to a venue in which the evidence is heard by folks who aren't related to the participants will allow a little law and justice to creep in.

Stay tuned for more of the same....

PS: If you haven't already, please read the previous post and "sign the guestbook" or whatever you want to call it....

A request from your sponsor...

Folks. I'm about to upload some new stuff Perry sent me to share with you.

I ask one thing, however (it's all I've ever asked from you at this point, and likely it's all I ever will):

As I have no idea whether I'm maintaining this blog entirely in vain, and while a labour of love should command this worry into donning the cloak of irrelevance, I would still greatly appreciate some response from anyone actively reading this page that would suggest to me the pulse does not just beat within a vacuum. One word, even, or a series of inexplicably arranged punctuation marks denoting your displeasure at my amateurish shattering of our fourth wall. Or even--dare I ask it--a fully formed thought. Some sort of "Boo" from the dark vast to let me know I'm not staring into Nietzsche's void without ever realizing that the void's been staring right back at me the whole time.

Oh, and Capt. O'Neal, while your responses are always welcome, of course you know I'm not referring to you here. I already know your pulse beats strongly in our minor community...

Thanks very much. Up next: a few words from the Tenure Track of Purgatory....

A Word From Our Professor (via George Carlin)

Perry sent this quote to me in the mail. Seemed like something worth sharing, as I imagine it's very much on his mind these days, as should it be on your own.

Political Correctness is America’s newest form of intolerance, and it’s especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. I’m not sure that’s the way to fight discrimination. I’m not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech.

-George Carlin

Two P'd-Offs in a pod...

Blast from the Past

Apparently, we missed this article from 2 1/2 years ago. Pretty rudimentary stuff, but Mills' last line is the sort of thing that gives campaign volunteers the excited silly giggles, so...




Cause for suspension stated

By: Sarah Martin

Posted: 7/12/05

Nearly eight months after Western's theater arts department suspended associate theater professor Perry Mills, he received a statement of charges -- which included written complaints from students and faculty members -- from Provost Andrew Bodman in June.

According to the statement, the reason for the suspension was that Mills' conduct fell below the standards to which faculty should adhere. Mills, who has been on paid suspension since Oct. 18, 2004, said the ordeal is a witch hunt.

"You can't prove that Julius Caesar ever existed," Mills said. "It's all hearsay."

In the statement Bodman wrote that he, Carol Edwards, dean of the College of Fine and Performing Arts, and theater department chair Mark Kuntz believe enough evidence exists to warrant a formal hearing.

The next step in the process is a hearing in October during which a panel of at least five members will review evidence and hear witnesses.

Mills, a faculty member at Western for 25 years, taught theater arts classes such as introduction to cinema and dramatic writing and said he misses his job. Some students have mixed feelings about Mills' teaching methods.

"If he could get an attitude change, he wouldn't be that bad," said Kerrie Thornton, Western senior and Mills' former student. "It's just too bad that he doesn't have very good people skills."

Thornton said that, while his classes are difficult, Mills listened and helped with playwriting.

The charges Mills faces are based on actions some faculty and staff believe violated Western's Faculty Handbook, which specifies the professional standards the university expects from its faculty. According to the handbook, the university may dismiss faculty members from their position for violating one or more of five obligations for behavior. Mills allegedly violated two of the five.

Edwards, Bodman and Kuntz are charging Mills with "a serious and persistent neglect of faculty duties" and "intentional and malicious interference with the scientific, scholarly and academic activities of others," according to the statement.

Attached to the statement of charges were three written statements from faculty and students concerning Mills' conduct.

In a statement dated Oct. 7, 2004, Western junior Shareen Faleafine wrote that Mills, who was her professor for Theater 201 during the prior spring quarter, harassed her in a faculty parking lot for having a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on her car.

"I have always felt comfortable and at home here at Western," she wrote. "Today I felt uncomfortable, put down, discouraged and scared for the first time."

Faleafine wrote that Mills said that if a problem arose in his class, he did not care and students should drop the class immediately. She wrote, however, that she could not afford to drop the class.

In an internal statement to Edwards dated Sept. 24, 2004, Kuntz said he witnessed a conversation between Mills and an administrative assistant of one of his courses. Kuntz said Mills' language included "You bitch, you screwed up," and "Is she retarded?"

Mills said he suspects his suspension could be partly a result of him carrying a pocketknife around campus. Kuntz received a report of a student seeing him with a pocketknife. Mills said he carried a pocketknife for years and needed it for repairing onstage equipment.

Kuntz said he told Mills on several occasions not to carry his knife on campus.

"I believe in protecting his privacy and his rights while protecting the rights of students," Kuntz said.

Mills also speculated that his suspension is due in large part to a $12 lab fee theater students paid until recently. He said Kuntz spent the money for items such as computers, which was not the purpose of the fee, and Kuntz was upset with him for whistle blowing.

Kuntz said the fee was not a factor in Mills' suspension and the department discontinued the fee because it was no longer needed.

In a written complaint Edward's office received on Oct. 12, 2004, a former student of Mills' wrote that she returned to Western after doctors diagnosed her with cancer, and Mills was aware of her situation.

During class, when Mills called on her to present an assignment in front of the class, she said she was nervous.

According to her complaint, Mills said, "If you can't even put up with your piece for class, then you should have just died of cancer."

Mills said he did not think he said anything wrong or should treat students with illnesses any differently from other students.

"I hope that it hurts someone enough to either go home or do their work," he said. "If she died I wouldn't have given her an 'A.'"

Mills said he does not want to handicap his students by avoiding the issues.

"I don't talk nice," he said. "I say 'I hate that idiot' instead of saying 'I hold you in imperfect esteem.'"

Mills is on paid suspension until the hearing.

"Your tax dollars are going into me as we speak," he said.

Comments:

posted 7/15/05 @ 1:40 PM PST

I must applaud Perry Mills for actually having the guts to say whatever he wants to say. The University has no right to try to censor what their faculty say and do. Remember that First Amendment "Free Speech" Clause? Justice William J. Brennan, Jr put it best when he wrote:

"If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment, it is that government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea offensive or disagreeable."

Bravo Mr. Mills, bravo...

Thomas Hintz

posted 7/18/05 @ 8:21 PM PST

No person who holds a position of respect and authority should treat his/her charges with such abuse and disrespect, if these assertions are true.

I am angry and appalled that this behavior and attitude is present at my alma mater.

Mark A. Hardie, 1953, Retired Educator
Puyallup School District

posted 7/23/05 @ 11:02 AM PST

Perry Mills was one of my favorite teachers at WWU. I learned the most from his classes. He was so funny and passionate and salty that it made his classes entertaining. I missed a lot of classes at Western- but never one of Perry's.

Madeline Chauvin, Videographer
Austin, TX

From the The Western Front Online, July 11, 2005

Photo Credit: Lauren Allain/The Western Front

Do You Miss Mark Kuntz? I do, too...

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Well, I know you've been as sick for both the presence of Professor Mark Kuntz--really, the man who started it all, an inspiration to educators and educatees alike--as well as the concision and attention to detail that defines the Western Washington student. So, here's a little treat for your attendant patience, unedited for "letter-order" and grammatic creativity:

From Rate My Professor (Mark Kuntz)

1/5/08
Ugh. Terrible class. I usually love theatre. I didn't with Mark. He was self-absorbed and, though he would ask student opinions in discussions he would usually just make what they said fit his own narrow-minded opinions. The tests were confusing and I thought his grading on papers was kind of harsh. Obnoxious guy, obnoxious class.

1/1/08
What a god awful teacher. I couldn't stand the man....so full of himself, disorganized, unavaliable and he out and out lies about stuff. Huge ego way out of porportion to any talent I saw ....as a director he sucks. Actors actually fell asleep on stage in the last play he did it was so boring.........

12/3/07
I was interested in theater prior to taking this class, but I really didn't learn much about it and I have completely lost interest. He grades papers too hard and the basis of the tests are several uninspiring articles written by people with large egos.

10/8/07
Mark is hilarious! He's such an awesome guy. Get to know him on a personal level... it helps!

Indeed! Truly awesome.

Note: I would have been happy to balance this post with some student musings on the criminal pirate himself, but--ah, helas--it's somewhat difficult for students to properly rate their professors when their professors aren't allowed to set foot on campus...

Cries in the Dark: Two Opinions

From the Whatcom Independent Online Op-Ed Archives
Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Letters to the Editor
Thu, Dec 13, 9:54am -

Silence does not become us

Dear Editor,

And so we hear the last bleating call of the whistle blower. I’ve been keeping tabs on Western Washington University’s (WWU) attempts to silence and dismiss Perry Mills, as the man was a professor of mine during my time in Bellingham. It never ceases to astound me that a community like Bellingham could stand silently by while this sort of thing occurs.

I know Perry Mills; he’s an educator of the old school. He still believes in standards of learning and thought that were once held dear on university campuses. Standards that have now fallen out of favor, not because they are somehow less invaluable now, but because they are difficult. He is gruff, crass, often shocking, but this stems from the fact that he is driven, direct, and above all, honest.

Professor Mills’ film students were required to pay fees that ostensibly were used for films and equipment. Instead, the funds, in their entirety, were taken and utilized by the department head. For what, then, were his students paying? Trips to conferences, in all likelihood.

Now it’s true that Mills is known for his scathing commentary of his peers. Again, vitriolic though it may be, it is also honest. The mere fact that Mills is known for this should ring some warning bells with the courts and the public, however. Mills did not suddenly become the “neighborhood meany” that the school is making him out to be. He’s been Perry for his entire tenure at WWU, some decades now, and no action has ever been taken to censure him.

University guidelines dictate that offensive behavior be reported and cataloged. They further state that the offender be called to a meeting where the problem will be discussed and rectified before any punitive action is taken. None of this was done. No action was ever taken.

Until now. Now, suspiciously, after he’s attempted to rectify his problem through established means (reporting the missing money), he’s being thrown from his position in direct violation of university guidelines. No official complaints had been made prior to this final attack on Mills, no meeting was called, no discussions were had, no mediation considered. After blowing the whistle, what constituted normal behavior for years became grounds for immediate removal. Well, perhaps eccentric people should just remember their place in life, and keep silent when they’re stepped on. Perry’s plight will serve as a great example to us all.

Stephen Austin II
Seattle




Dean’s view of Mills

Dear Editor,

I have just finished the Paul deArmond piece on Prof. Perry Mills. I am not fully acquainted with the details of the event, as it happened after I left the Deanship of the College of Fine and Performing Arts (CFPA). As the first dean of the new CFPA, I was of course a part of process when Mr. Mills joined the college. He was hired as an assistant to an associate professor. He advanced to his present rank by way of his excellent work in the Theater Department.

Prof. Mills has been with the theater for a good number of years. His record as a teacher is excellent. His student’s evaluations were, as I remember, very high. His production of student credit hours, a most important factor in any department, was exceptional. Professor Mills’s students were among the best in the college. His development of the student playwrighting project was remarkable.

It is true that his language in informal situations may have left something to be desired, but he was obviously revolting against the effete professor stereotype that is all too common in the collegiate world. I have known him for many years and his language has certainly not worsened. (I am aware that reactions to that statement ranged from “Thank God” to “It couldn’t.”) His command of the English language will put the average educated person to shame. He is certainly as well- or better-read than most of his colleagues. His sense of humor, which I suspect is at the bottom of a lot of the anger that has been generated, is one of the best I have ever encountered.

I strongly suspect that those who have been behind the move to get rid of Prof. Mills are among those who have felt insulted but were not sure how or why. I have seen him in formal situations where his language has always been on the highest level and been extremely effective. Those who have been intimidated by Prof. Mills must have an extremely thin skin.

Prof. Mills is an excellent teacher, one who always put the student first. Certainly that seems to be the case here when dealing with student funds.

W. A. Gregory
Lynden

Administrative Code Violated; Suspension Upheld (aka Illegality Rewarded)

Okay, so I've re-read this article at least three times (listen, I attended Western, so I can't do objective math--just the new subjective kind, resembling the accounting WWU employs to determine the various sundry fees they collect from new batches of "students" every year). Anyhow, I've read the thing more than once and I still can't understand how this sentence works:

[Whatcom County Superior Court Judge] Mura said he upheld Mills’ suspension but found that Western’s refusal to hold open hearings in the case violated administrative code.

To quote other myriad on-line bafflees: A-wot?

Is this not like saying "[United States Supreme Court Judges] said they upheld Bush's claim to presidential victory but found that Florida's refusal to hold non-discriminatory elections violated constitutional code"?


Well, I guess we can turn to the brilliant thinker F. Scott Fitzgerald for a bit of perspective on this conundrum:

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function."

Or, to quote Western's Assistant Attorney General Wendy Bohlke: "We won, he lost."

Isn't it nice to know that WWU has such a time-saving reductionist on staff? With spin powers like that, it's a wonder she only works for a minor university and hasn't extended her step to a higher ground like, say, Legal Advisor to Vladimir Putin. I know, Russia is cold and snow is heavier than rain, but I think simplicity of the sort Bohlke has to offer would be more useful on the world stage than on the stagnant prosceniums of "Higher Education." At least she'd help give serious editorial cartoonists more work.

Or, how about this other choice statement by the same beast, quoted in the same article: "Universities hire intelligent, educated people. Personnel problems don't happen that often. We deal with them quietly and people move on."


Wow! Silence = progress! Once again, Western Washington's formulas for success are far more interesting than those that come with any amount of ethical integrity! Yep, no more surefire a way to solve intricate issues that affect large populations like nations or student bodies than with that proven vanquisher of time-squandering complexity: silence!

Anyway, enough about me: there are a few more words sandwiched between Bohlke's lardy emissions within the article itself, so read on if you run out of more interesting fiction in your own home's library. And here's some post-reading homework for you: Where did Krell's Facebook group "Perry F. Mills, Where Have You Gone?" go?...

WESTERN FRONT ONLINE
Judge to uphold theater professor's suspension
by Steven Chea, Sarah Gordan and Shana Keen
Friday, December 07, 2007

The dispute regarding the fate of Western theater professor Perry Mills is one step closer to being resolved after Whatcom County Superior Court Judge Steven Mura issued an oral ruling on Mills’ case Nov. 21.

Mura said he upheld Mills’ suspension but found that Western’s refusal to hold open hearings in the case violated administrative code.

“We won, he lost,” said Western Assistant Attorney General Wendy Bohlke. “He was an … abuser of people. We will defend that. The decision was sound.”

Mills was put on paid suspension by the theater department in October 2004 while the university investigated complaints received from faculty and students, according to a review decision and final order released by Western’s Board of Trustees.

In one of the complaints, a female student, whose name was redacted from the document, wrote a letter to then theatre department chair Mark Kuntz stating Mills’ behavior in class toward her was offensive, according to the board’s document. The student, who had been diagnosed in the fall of 2003 with ovarian cancer, returned to Western after surgery and chemotherapy sessions and enrolled in Mills' dramatic writing class in the spring of 2004. The student volunteered to present her work in front of the class, but after she expressed reservations, Mills made a comment to her that she found offensive, according to the document.

The document states Mills testified that the comment he made to the student was along the lines of “If you don’t put up your work, it’s just as if you died of cancer and aren’t here at all.” The comment brought the student to tears, according to the document.

Mills justified his words as a way of motivating her. The board found that Mills’ actions toward the student were “entirely inappropriate,” according to the document.

The incident is one of several mentioned in the document, which include comments made by Mills to other students and faculty members they considered derogatory toward gender and sexual orientation.

The department presented its findings to a hearing panel in October 2005 while Mills defended his actions to the panel. The five-member panel held six meetings and voted unanimously to recommend that Mills be placed on a two-quarter suspension without pay, according to the document.

Theater professor Deborah Currier was one of the faculty members to whom Mills allegedly made comments that she deemed inappropriate, according to the document. Currier did not say her position on Mills’ suspension, but said she disapproved of his conduct.

Western senior Adam Krell took Theatre 201 with Mills, and said he didn't find Mills’ unusual style offensive.

“I just thought he was funny,” Krell said. “He cracked me up. He was abrasive, but I don’t think he was ever serious.”

Krell created the “Perry F. Mills, Where Have You Gone?” Facebook group, which originally protested the suspension.

Krell said he now feels he doesn’t know enough information to make a judgement about whether or not the suspension is justified.

“I think most of what he said was tongue-in-cheek, but I don’t think most of the students took it that way,” Krell said. “I interpreted him as sarcastic.”

Attorneys on both sides must type up Mura’s ruling and add suggestions they feel the judge needs to take into consideration. Mura said he will issue a formal finding after receiving reports from both sides but did not specify a deadline.

Bohlke said she believes Mura will sign the formal finding next week. She said Mills’ case was an unusual situation for Western.

“Universities hire intelligent, educated people,” Bohlke said. “Personnel problems don’t happen that often. We deal with them quietly and people move on.”

Mills’ attorney James Lobsenz was not available for comment by deadline.

A couple of new documents and an update from the Battle Weary but Live Professor Himself

Okay, jog your eyes just a few inches to the right and you'll find a couple of new pdf files:

1. Reschedule Memo: wherein the court decides that "service was adequate", the case is not successfully thrown out by WWU, but the hearing is rescheduled for November 21st.

2. Bohlke Declaration: wherein Wendy Bohlke decides that Mills may NOT resume teaching, due to a supposed non-fulfillment on his part of some sort of pre-requisite "training" sessions (going against the earlier decision that his suspension would last only through August 31, 2007.) Essentially, this document reflects a possibly arbitrary step on behalf of WWU, toward keeping the situation in a state of paralysis (continued suspension with pay, instead of a resumption of teaching duties.)

Also, a few words from the Professor himself, bringing us up to speed through to Thanksgiving Day (proving that not even the consumption of gallons of cranberry smothered bird meat will keep the one-eyed former roofer silent):

Court yesterday...we will be into appeal EVEN THOUGH the witch trial was deemed illegal... So now it's off to the Supreme Court (of Washington State)... We're out in the open and struggling mightily, so stay tuned...

He goes on a bit further, and that's private stuff--sorry--but hist last words are worth their weight in uneducated undergraduates, and here they are:

Time to give thanks for the strength to brave the nasty...you must, too! Banzai!

Back Online...

To any weary traveler still occasionally visiting these deserted shores: we are now back online (we, as I said, not the site, which has not gone away) and have reloaded the majority of the links just there to the right. More will appear as they are located. Thanks for your patience!

Western Front: Mills can return to Western

Mills can return to Western
If Mills serves another suspension, he could resume teaching theater classes

By Ciara O’ Rourke

November 11, 2005

After a yearlong paid suspension and six meetings to assess the teaching eligibility of Perry Mills, a tenured Western theatre arts instructor, the controversial professor could return to Western.

First, however, he must serve a two-quarter unpaid suspension, according to the document containing the findings of the panel that reviewed the charges against Mills.

If Mills decides to continue teaching, he must also sign a statement agreeing to comply with Western’s code of faculty ethics.

Findings of WWU's Secret Hearing

All of this started over something about some kind of incident involving a pocketknife and, here, in this document, the panel members of a WWU secret hearing reveal that the panel could find "no credible testimony" that Mills engaged in "threatening conduct" or that anybody anywhere at all was "actually frightened" by whatever it was that Mills didn't do in the first place.

In other words, those charges were complete bullshit. Yet the vast usefulness of bullshit is herein once again proven, in that even though the initial justification for Mills' suspension has disintegrated into dust, the panel, now committed to action, simply shrugs and changes its focus. (After being a sweeping big-time hit, no doubt this "Weapons of Mass Destruction Tactic" is on the rise amongst our fine nation's more common scoundrels.) In Mills' case, even though there was no threat, no incident, no victim that anyone can find, a bunch of good solid hysteria about "safety" was useful for getting all the cattle to trample in the same direction. And now that there's momentum, WWU's secret hearing panel no doubt find it difficult to change course, let alone admit that there's no good reason in the first place for them to be clomping and mooing like a herd of beasts dumber than stone.

The entire document is fascinating. Building from a solid base of passive voice, the terse tone of paternal disappointment dissipates only in those places where the panel realizes it might look silly if it doesn't at least acknowledge that a few jackasses have made a power-play, cut a few corners, told a few yarns, and things didn't really work out as planned. Even though crude and inexpert in their deviance, and though Stalin would no doubt be embarrassed for them, their failures risk making the University look bad, or rather, worse than it does presently. But, of course, those moments when the panel appears to recognize that there is more tomfoolery to the case than they've heard, they quickly return to accounting anything Mills has said in the last twenty years that ever hurt anybody's feelings.

In short, what began as a move to subdue an alleged knife-wielding maniac has become, in the course of weeding out fantasy from fact, a very serious tribunal solemnly discussing what to do about Oscar the Grouch.

The panel's criticism of Professor Mills rests on one assumption: That a professor's method of teaching be palatable to all students. The weak, dumb, or slow must never encounter anything that frightens them. As best he can, the professor must insulate his philosophy with cotton-candy pillows, lest some unsuspecting suburbanite accidentally be stabbed in the head with an idea.

In any case, the panel has penned some small bits of brilliance for a herd of career educators, such as this logical howler tucked away in the course of some otherwise drab paragraph: "Verbal abuse is verbal abuse."

What fun! Let me try too! A kangaroo court is a kangaroo court.

Provost Bodman Off the Hook (For Now)

[Following is the text of the STIPULATED ORDER OF DISMISSAL filed on Nov. 9. Emphasis added by editor.]

Plaintiff Perry Mills, by and through his attorneys Carney Badley Spellman, P.S. and James E. Lobsenz, and defendant Andrew Bodman, by and through his attorneys Miller Nash LLP and Francis L. Van Dusen, Jr., stipulate to the entry of the subjoined order dismissing all claims against defendant Bodman with prejudice and without the award of fees or costs to either side, and expressly reserving the right to bring suit in the future against Western Washington University and officials of the University other than defendant Bodman.

Based on the parties’ stipulation as described above, it is hereby ORDERED, ADJUDGED and DECREED that: The plaintiff’s claims against defendant Bodman are dismissed with prejudice, and without the award of attorneys’ fees or costs to either side. Nothing in this order shall preclude the plaintiff from filing suit against Western Washington University, or against officials of the University other than defendant Bodman, challenging either his suspension, or any subsequently imposed discipline.

If Dreams Came True

Excerpts from a Western Front article on Mark Kuntz' play "If Dreams Came True":

"The play," [Mark Kuntz] said, "is about six West Point cadets who banter and put on blackface makeup while preparing to perform a minstrel show in 1923."

[...]

"Kuntz said the script’s language is raw, and those offended by coarse language should not attend."

"The play is a safe excuse to be a guy," [actor] Emerick said. "It’s fun to discuss dicks and pussies, and to discover new things we can do with it."

Western Front Blitzkrieg

Mills sues Western provost Andrew Bodman to challenge suspension

Bodman withdraws candidacy for Ball State provost post

Western considers firing Perry Mills
Five meetings, closed to public and press, will decide Mills’ fate

Former students testify on Mills’ behalf

Whatcom Independent, 7 October 2005

WWU Debates Firing Professor Mills
Meeting Closed to Public and Press
By Paul de Armond

BELLLINGHAM - Wednesday, Western Washington University's faculty hearing panel banned the public and all members of the press from a meeting called to debate whether to fire tenured WWU professor Perry Mills. If fired, Mills would not only lose his job, his pension benefits would be severely reduced.

Professor Mills' attorney James Lobsenz contended the Washington State Open Meetings Act and the state constitution promise citizens justice will be done openly.

After the hearing Lobsenz said, "There isn't a gag order. The hearing's procedure is clearly illegal. However, the panel has expressed their wish that the proceedings be private and out of politeness and deference to their feelings I will not say anything about what happens in the room until it is over."

At issue are the charges brought by the university against Professor Mills a year ago. The charges remained secret until last June. Last October, Professor Mills had been barred from campus and suspended with full pay for allegedly brandishing a pocketknife and speaking rudely to students and faculty. Mills contends he was suspended in retaliation for his exposure of what he alleges were financial irregularities in the theatre department.

In July, Professor Mills brought suit in federal court against Provost Andrew Bodman for violating his civil rights and ignoring the employment contract that spelled out the procedure for suspension. That case is currently in federal court in Seattle.

In September the university selected former King County Superior Court Judge Robert Alsdorf as its hearing officer and appointed five faculty members to the panel. "The hearing is not bound by strict legal rules of evidence and the panel may admit any evidence they find probative," Alsdorf said.

Mills' attorney James Lobsenz asked that the hearing be open to the public. "There are levels of authority regarding this hearing. First there is the faculty handbook, then there is state law and finally there is the state constitution," Lobsenz said. "Above the laws of the state is the constitution, which requires that justice be administered openly."

"Why should this hearing be secret?" he asked. "It would be a shame if the community is shut out."

University counsel Wendy Bohlke claimed the faculty senate had already decided the matter when they approved the handbook. She said, "The hearing is not secret. The proceedings are recorded and when the decision becomes final, the record of the decision becomes open." She noted the university already has a policy of closing quasi-judicial hearings by the Board of Trustees and the Associated Students.

Bohlke asked the panel to consider whose issues are at stake. "Witnesses' testimony could result in charges of slander or disparagement if they were open to the public," she said.

Lobsenz said, "The faculty senate cannot override the state constitution."

The panel retired for ten minutes to consider the issue. When the hearing reconvened, Hearing Officer Robert Alsdorf said the panel had decided to keep the hearing private. They then directed all members of the public to leave the hearing room, adding, "And that applies to the reporter present." This reporter was the only member of the public present.

Professor Mark Kuntz and Provost Bodman also left the hearing before it adjourned. It is not known if they left voluntarily or if they also were barred by a later decision of the panel. The hearing continued for another hour and a half, but the proceedings are now secret and as of the Independent's publication deadline no further information is available.

Witnesses to the "Knife"

Declaration of Michael Murphy

One day in October 2004, immediately after a class session, I discussed with another student, Nick McLeod, a play he was writing for the class. Mr. McLeod wanted me to play a part in the play for a scene to be performed in class. He told me that the character needed to use a knife onstage as a prop and asked me if I had a suitable knife. I did not, but I told him that Professor Mills had a folding knife we might be able to use, and I asked Professor Mills if he had the knife to show to Mr. McLeod. I knew that Professor Mills sometimes carried a pocket knife because I have seen him use a pocketknife in the past to cut holes in the ends of his cigars. Professor Mills said that he did have the knife, and he removed it from his pocket and opened it to show it to Mr. McLeod. Professor Mills said we could use the knife as a prop, and then he put it away. The knife was out of Professor Mills' pocket for less than 15 seconds, and at no time did Professor Mills brandish the knife in any remotely threatening manner. I was standing near Professor Mills and I was not at all frightened for my safety. There were other students in the area, but I saw no indication that any of them was afraid and certainly none were in any danger.

Declaration of Nicholas McLeod

One day in October 2004, immediately after a class session, I discussed a play I was writing for the class with Professor Mills and Mike Murphy, another student in the class. The play was called "Bagels and Balrogs," and included a discussion among the patrons of a bagel shop, who were debating the relative merits of the film and novel versions of the Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien.

I had cast Mike Murphy to play one of the characters in the play. The character was intended to be reminiscent of a "Hell's Angel," and have a rough, surly persona. I had written a scene in the play which called for the character to slice a bagel while passionately arguing a point about the film version of the Lord of the Rings. For dramatic effect, and to deepen the development of the character, the script called for the character to use a knife to hack the bagel into several pieces. I believed that the knife would need to be fairly large in order to convey the dramatic intent and a smaller knife would not be appropriate for the scene.

I asked Mike Murphy if he had a suitable knife, and he said that he did not. Professor Mills then told us that he had a pocketknife that might be appropriate, and removed his knife from his belt. He opened it and showed it to us, asking if we thought it would serve as a prop for the scene. We agreed that it would be an appropriate prop, and asked Professor Mills if we could use it for the scene. Professor Mills said that we could use the pocketknife as a prop.

When Professor Mills took out and opened the pocketknife, Mr. Murphy and I were within approximately arm's length of Professor Mills. I did not feel at all threatened, and Mr. Murphy likewise gave no indication that he was made uncomfortable by Professor Mills' actions. Professor Mills did not brandish the knife, point it at anyone, or make any gestures with the knife of any kind. I considered the discussion to be related to my coursework.

During the discussion with Mr. Murphy and Professor Mills, there were several other students in the area, the class having not yet fully disbanded. None of the other students were as close to Professor Mills as I and Mr. Murphy, although other students were close enough to see that Professor Mills was showing us a pocketknife. No other students indicated any alarm or displeasure at the fact that Professor Mills showed us his pocketknife. I did not hear anyone say anything about the knife at all, and certainly no one seemed to be afraid.

Documents

I suspect the addition of a crate of PDF files on the side links will tempt only those familiar with Professor Mills, so here's some highlights:

The Syllabus

We will aspire rather than compromise, excell instead of settle-for and we will write the best piece of dramatic intensity the world has ever suffered through......and in doing, we will focus every ounce of intellectual and artistic energy we possess upon the work. If we do not, we are no better than a pack of animals and we deserve to die unread and unheard. Get busy.

Mills' Eval of Dept. Chair Mark Kuntz

(In which the Professor gives Kuntz a One-to-Five rating of Three for Scheduling; Zeros in most cases, and a Minus One in Handling Budget Resources. It could be that Professor Mills' unholy evaluation of Kuntz in April 2003 has something to do with Kuntz's unholy suspension of Mills presently.)

He will say ANYTHING in order to further his own selfish ends; I consider him a liar and worse (see section on the budget) and lament that such persons are deemed necessary to the running of an academic unit. He is flawlessly polite, oily to the point of extreme unction and untrustworthy in any situation....Fire this phony, now.

Kuntz' Memo After September 11th

Or: Mark Kuntz Implies That People Are Terrorists Who Aren't
Or: Mark McCarthy Knows a Good Angle When He Sees It

I am concerned about the safety of our students, staff, and faculty.

Last week our nation learned some tough lessons as we were aware of a potential terrorist threat, but were without the resolve to act on that threat. Our culture prefers to act after substantial damage has occurred, so that the removal of the threat is clearly defined and a call to action has substantial momentum.

Perry Mills represents that kind of threat on campus. The level of threat Perry represents is not clear, and a course of action is very difficult if not dangerous itself.

A Student Letter of Support for Mills

I'm writing this letter in order to recommend Perry Mills for whatever it is he wants to be recommended for....Getting along with Perry is often a chore. He is not easily impressed or easily endeared.

Another Student Letter of Support for Mills

To Whom It May Concern:

Dear Sir,

Perry Mills is of the old school, in the tradition of the Academy, Cambridge, and Gottingen. This means that he demands scholarship from self and students, and it is disheartening to see the majority (who are fools) attempt to wheedle out of the higher learning, or to see his administrative superiors discontinue his interdisciplinary studies program. He is the only force I have met at this university that insists that one engage the material. Among the priceless multitude of ideas introduced to me by Professor Mills, both in and out of class, are works by the following:

Paul Fussell, Richard Mitchell, Scott Buchanan, Ben Shahn, Friedrich Nietzsche, Aeschylus, Sophocles, H.L. Mencken, Arthur Koestler, Jean Anouilh, Jean Cocteau, J.P. Sartre, and Florence King.

If this list is recognized to be one composed of pessimistic and notorious nonconformists with anger management problems, so be it: this little note is not addressed to you. But if these names are friends, then consider this: Do you know how difficult it is now to free one's self from the mires of this technocratic disinformation age and get some real answers?...If it had not been for Professor Mills I would not have found these authors.

Let me make this little note perfectly clear: Professor Mills deserves a full professorship with all its attendant privileges and proper remunerations.

Thank you for your attention,

Max M. Strumia
Department of Mathematics

Mills' Tenure Eval

The strengths of the contributions that Mr. Mills makes to the Theatre Arts Department in the area of Teaching are as follows:

Generates large SCH numbers in GUR class
Is well read in 20th Century philosophy and theory
Often appeals to bright non-traditional students
Offers academically prepared and challenging classes
Promotes the importance of critical thinking and writing skills in theatre curriculum

The weaknesses of the contributions that Mr. Mills makes to the Theatre Arts Department in the area of Teaching are as follows:

Uses foul language with and, on occasion, toward students
Employs a combative style with students as a central part of methodology
Discusses other faculty members with students in a derogatory and demeaning manner
Enjoys his wit at the expense of students
Extremely high student complaint rate (formal and informal)
Berates and demeans students in the guise of humor

The Large Invisible Antique Screwdriver by Perry Mills, Auditioned by Dean Edwards

[In a meeting with Provost Bodman, Dean Edwards, and lawyers for Plaintiff and Defendant, Mills] indicated that he owned a large antique screwdriver with which he could easily kill someone by driving it into the victim's brain, and while he said this, he mimicked with his hands, while looking at his hands, how he would handle it, lifting his hand with the invisible screwdriver in it, and then hitting the table hard with his fist closed around the invisible screwdriver. He looked up at us from looking at his hand, and indicated he could probably kill anyone with anything that was available. His presentation was alarming....I personally felt fearful in his presence given what he said and how he behaved."

Interview with the Terribly Crazed and Dangerous Professor Perry Mills (Part 1)

When did you start teaching at Western?

I started teaching at Western in 1980, when I went back for a Masters degree after being crippled on my carpentry job. The Dean C.F.P.A. hired me on the spot to teach Interdisciplinary Arts, and from there I picked up theatre classes and became a "professor".

Why do you have a glass eye?

I do not have a glass eye. One sees; one does not, having an opaque lens due to an explosives mishap in the '70s. The glass eye syndrome comes from the insufficient tracking of the unseeing member—it "wanders" because it cannot focus. Tape up one eye and view the world as I do. Curbs become a great challenge, steps take on a whole new dimension, and then get on your motorcycle and follow me through some corners: you will notice that the world is one large two-dimensional postcard without any dimension or depth. Why be afraid of corners if they don't exist?

Our society generally considers art expendable, and often sees art culture as soft, indirect, impractical, and faggoty. However, you come at art more like a construction foreman than a theatre professor, with a ferocity foreign to many artists and instructors. You give the impression that art is as practical as a highway.

Art is not for sissies!

What are you trying to teach your students?

Just like "The Lost Tools of Learning" [by Dorothy Sayers] points out, they must learn to think for themselves; any energy disposed to any other purpose is effort wasted. On the way to this ideal, I twit the affected and expose the class system for its exploitation of the unprepared. As a previous hand-out noted, failure marks you: stating that it doesn't changes nothing and it eventually teaches the student that they cannot trust the teacher to do anything except play it safe. The young need stronger stuff, otherwise we are conditioning their failure.

What characterizes professors you've had run-ins with over the years?

You're [presently] documenting the sort of thing that professors "do" in the free exchange of diverse ideas in the academy. They lie, cheat, and back-stab in order to make sure that the corporate ponzi-scheme stays in their control. Hitler found the universities the first to capitulate to the new brutality: nothing has changed. Between the political correctness "movement" and the removal of constitutional guarantees via the "Faculty Handbuch", the Amerikan Proffessoriate has trussed and gelded itself as it awaits the advent of Hitler's avatar. Can you wait?

As one of your terrified students, I found that your stingy praise was meaningful(1), precisely because it was seldom dispensed(2). Is there some intent of manipulation in this(3), or do you call it as you see it every time(4)? In other words(5), if you see that praise will drive a particular student to better work(6), will you offer it despite the facts(7)? Comment on white lies(8).

1. Good. Your native intelligence is emerging.
2. Dispensation follows deserved action! Schmooziness is for the timid and the lost. Get tough!
3. Yes.
4. Yes. I have the strength of ten because I know something that the young do not. They don't need praise, they need strong opposition to test their ideas against. If an idea breaks in school-practice, imagine what it could do to you in life!
5. That's easy for you to say...
6. Has praise ever driven you to better work? Isn't praise a cue to "back off" and not show up the retarded? What drives you to better things?
7. No. There is some shit I will not eat.
8. What's "white" about lies? Is racism inexorably tied to our ethics? Tell the truth, it's a rare thing to do and will please those who know a lie when they are being bought-off with one. I can help students, but I can't do it by lying about what they have done. That would advocate idiocy.


Your contempt for students is legendary. Likewise for faculty and administrators. Yet I get the impression that you’re continually open to revising your judgments. What traits tend to salvage an individual from the onslaught of your black misanthropy?

My "contempt for students" reputation comes from the fact that I brook no phonys. My "Black Misanthropy" is derived from those students who have not yet learned that it is the swine who pass them year after year for little or no real work; they are lazy and it is easier to denounce me than to admit that we are all stupid and need good solid feedback on what we have just said, not another Gold Star for being inoffensive.

Your detractors say you’re mean and nasty or that you’re “not nice”. Pretend I’m one of those people, and that I’ll never in a million years change my opinion of you. Why do you torture me so?

In order that you may become a viable intellectual presence in your world. It does you no good at all to pet you for your cuteness and the beauty of youth when you are being denied the tools of learning. You are a fluke of creation, and whether you can hear it or not the universe is laughing at you behind your back. Get smart or die.

Reading the list of charges against you (such as that you called a fat guy “a 400-lb canary who warbles nothingness”, and that you apparently weren’t very sensitive concerning a cancer patient’s reluctance to show her art in her delicate condition, and that you lambast conservatives and liberals alike) gives the impression of lunacy, unpredictability, or rabble-rousing, but beneath it all I find the common thread that you’re quickly sizing up someone’s chosen social identity and ripping it apart to get to the individual inside. Why do you do this? What are the dangers of identity?

The "dangers of identity" are that you are responsible (read Scott Buchanan) for your future. No one can save you, save yourself (study that statement for ambiguity, I dare you...). Read Tom Wolfe's The Worship of Art for a second opinion: if you don't know what you think and feel, the experts will do it for you. This is a deeper-than-usual topic and is the subject of many of the books on my reading list. It's known as "The History of Ideas" and comprises my central curriculum. [John Taylor] Gatto's book ["Dumbing Us Down"] is a fine example.

Why cigars?

Cigars are a memory of past smokes and a building of future pleasure, they drive away the insipid and peurile, and insure that only friends remain. Since it takes two hours to smoke a handmade cigar of substance, cigar smokers are possessed of Leisure time and earthy taste, and command respect from the gentility and Loathing from Vermine. A cigar is a symbol of freedom, and a marque of nobility, and points up the difference between Churchill and Nixon.

A Horrifying Tale of the Vile and Hideous Professor Mills Making Entirely Inappropriate Remarks

(Another letter of complaint from a student regarding Perry Mills.)

To whom [it] may concern,

Fall of 2003 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had to leave Western for immediate treatment including surgery and chemotherapy. I returned to Western spring of 2004 excited and ready to work. Although my [health] was not at its prime and I still had not grown back any hair, it was something I wanted to do. As you can imagine I was very sensitive to the fact that I was bald and faced my insecurities everyday. During the fall quarter when I left school and the spring quarter when I cam back I was enrolled in Mr. Mill's dramatic writing coure, [a] requirement for my major. Mr. Mills was fully aware of my sickness and how I felt about it. One day in class I was preparing to put up a piece for [work-shopping] in front of the class. It was the first time that I had put something up so I was nervous. When Mr. Mills asked if anyone had something for class that day I put my hand up tentatively. Then when called upon I explained that I wasn't sure if I wanted to put it up...that I was nervous. And Mr. Mills responded "Caitlin, if you can't even put up your piece for class then you should have just died of cancer." As my eyes welled up with tears and the class stared on I cast my work and put it up for the class. Although he succeeded in getting me to put up my work (which was not a requirement of the course) it was entirely inappropriate.

Concerned Student

Caitlin

******

Professor Mills' account:

At the beginning of one class I asked, "Who has something to put up?" meaning, "Who has a piece they are ready to cast and perform?" [Caitlin] raised her hand. I called on her and told her to [go] ahead, cast it and perform it. She began to hand out scripts to other students, but then after a minute or two she said she was not sure she wanted to go ahead and do it.

In her complaint letter [Caitlin] wrote that I told her "Caitlin, if you can't even put your piece up for class then you should have just died of cancer." While that does not sound exactly right, I did say something to that effect. I did say something like, "If you don't put the play up, it's the same as if you had died." The point I was making was that while we live, we can create. When we are dead, we can no longer create. And if we stop creating while we are alive, it's the same as if we had never lived.

My remark had its desired effect. I succeeded in goading her into getting up the courage to cast and perform her piece. She went ahead and the piece was performed and critiqued. She acknowledges in her complaint letter that I succeeded in getting her to do her piece for the class.

I can see why other people might find my remark to [Caitlin] to be offensive or cruel. I disagree. I believe that [if] I had not said this, I would have been failing her as a teacher. The goals of any discipline, including theater arts, must be to produce an observable change of behavior in the person studying that discipline. A performance piece must be performed, even if it causes pain to do so. Artistic strength comes only through action. My statement to [Caitlin] was designed to induce that action, and it did so.

An article regarding Perry Mills in the Whatcom Independent, 26 August 2005 issue:

****

WWU moves to fire tenured prof

Drama revolves around whistle-blowing
over lab fees

by SHERI WARD
sheri@whatcomindy.com

BELLINGHAM - Western Washington University (WWU) is pursuing legal action against one of its tenured faculty members, which may result in the loss of his job and pension. Perry Mills, a tenured professor in the Drama Department, has been charged with making remarks to students and other faculty members, which some listeners found offensive. Mills contends the charges are retaliation for his objection to student lab fees being spent inappropriately.

Mills has been suspended since October 2004. According to WWU administration, the suspension is due to complaints by faculty and staff concerning Mills' behavior. WWU delayed filing written charges until June 2005, even though the university's procedure specifies that charges should be filed before any suspension is imposed. During the intervening time, Mills has been on paid leave, but has not been allowed on campus nor allowed to teach any classes.

Mills contends the charges are trumped up, and brought about because he objected to student lab fees being spent inappropriately. The intended use of the lab fees, totaling over $20,000, was to purchase instructional videos. Instead, Drama Department Chair Mark Kuntz used the funds for general purposes, Mills stated in court documents.

Mills has been on the faculty since 1980 and tenured since 1994. The charges for his suspension are based on testimony involving three incidents in 2004, and others stem from incidents several years ago.

On August 12, the WWU Board of Trustees moved to indemnify Provost Andrew Bodman in his individual and official capacities in this lawsuit. A hearing in the case is set for September 9 before the U.S District Court in Seattle. The hearing will address Bodman's request for a dismissal of Mill's suit. Neither of the principals nor their attorneys could be reached for comment as of press time.

The Strange Case of the George Bush Sticker in the Faculty Parking Lot

(A letter of complaint to Provost Bodman by one of Professor Mills' students)

Dear Vice President Bodman,

I am writing to you in hopes that I may have some influence in a change that I believe needs to occur here at Western Washington University. My incident today has pushed me to further my complaint on to you.

Today at approximately 12:15pm I drove into the Faculty Lot in order to park and purchase a manual from the University Bookstore on Campus. Little did I know that as soon as I stepped out of my car I would be harassed about a Bush Cheney sticker on my bumper. To my surprise though, I was not being talked to by a fellow student but by a professor, Mr. Perry Mills, who I have this quarter as the professor of my Theatre 201 class. He told the students surrounding him that by voting for Bush I wanted to the world to die and that I probably wanted to put him to death. He even stated as I was walking away that he might get arrested for starting something. I tried to ignore these comments that seemed to by flying out of his mouth without thought but he had gotten the students to stare and laugh while he stood there judging me.

I understand that this may seem like a small incident in this chaotic world but I was embarrassed, appalled and very offended by Professor Mills. With his position and
stature it is hard to believe he could say these things. I am a very quiet and non-confrontational person and I usually would 'consider the source' and not worry about what people say, nor have I ever complained about anything like this to such an extent as to write a letter to you. After hearing Professor Mill's remarks of geographic areas of 'white trash' during lectures and his shouting 'shut up girl!' to another student in class and finally after having him ridicule me in front of others in order to force his opinion upon them, while downgrading me in the process, has brought me to the conclusion that enough is enough.

I believe that you should be encouraged to have your beliefs and opinions but also believe that there is an appropriate time and place to speak your mind, especially in the manner Professor Mills has. I have always felt comfortable and at home here at Western, I love it here, but today I felt uncomfortable, put-down, discouraged and scared for the first time. I should never have to feel this way because of a professor who is suppose to act with a certain degree of respect just as we students are expected to act towards them. Professor Mill's has stated that if we have a problem with what he says in his lectures he does not care, we should drop the class immediately. I can not afford to drop this class.

There must be some ethical code of conduct that Western Washington University has in regards to professors and students. I do believe President Karen Morse quotes in her Fall 2002 State of the University Address that "whatever our place of origin, it is clear that our fundamental attitudes and perspectives come from different places in time, and have been formed by different events. Our students will bring perspectives and backgrounds different from ours and those need to be considered and respected as well". I respect Professor Mill's view and so should he respect mine. This presidential election has been a close one and has been the cause of many arguments but it is not right when it has to come down to belittling a student who works so hard and looks up to the faculty so much. I could not quote all of what he said since I was trying hard to ignore it and walk away with my head high but he degraded me and I will never forget the feelings caused by Professor Mills.

I believe no one other than God should pass judgment on people and so I will not pass judgment on him nor am I wishing for an apology for myself. I am writing, as I stated in the beginning, in hopes for some kind of change, any kind of change, so that no other student may be subjected to what I had to go through today. I thought that this university is supposed to be a place of diversity and equal opportunities. I thought that Western is a place to learn and grow. Professor Mills is a man with power and the influence to help others but I feel that he has used it to amuse himself. Although incidents like this occur all the time, I would hope that it would not be because of a man who is expected to be somewhat of a role model to us all.

Thank you so much for your time and your concern. I truly appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Shareen Julieta Faleafine
[Student at Western Washington University]

******

Professor Mills' account:

Student Shareen Julieta Faleafine complained to defendant Bodman that on October 7, 2004 I made some remark to other students about the Bush-Cheney bumper sticker on her car. She claims that I told them that by voting for Bush she wanted the world to die and that she probably wanted to put me to death.

My recollection of the incident is somewhat different. I recall that I was on the porch of the Performing Arts Center discussing a play that I had been acting with some of my students, when a woman drove up and parked in the faculty parking lot. There was a man in the car with her. They both got out of the car. The car had a Bush political bumper sticker on it.

I did not recognize her. I did not think that she was a faculty member. This is partly because I did not recognize her, and partly because she did not display a faculty parking sticker when she left her car parked illegally.

I recall that I make some kind of a joking remark to her to the effect that her Bush sticker would not protect her from a parking ticket. I do not recall her making any reply. My recollection is that she never spoke at all.

I did recognize the man that got out of the car with her, because we both patronize the same cigar shop. I had some brief conversation with him about the cigar shop we both go to. Then the man and the woman simply walked off. At no time did the woman ever say or do anything to indicate that she was upset, embarrassed, flummoxed, or alarmed.

Student remarks about Professor Mark Kuntz, from ratemyprofessor.com

"Mark rocks..."

"...his classroom presentation is really engaging. I also appreciate the exploration of issues around what defines art and about gender & ethnic issues in contemporary theatre."

"Really funny and SUPER sarcastic..."

"Talked about himself most of the time."

"His lectures were interesting and he tells some funny stories."

"All he does is talk about his personal life and how wonderful theatre is and that film is satan."

"he is good overall..."

"Class is very easy."

"Condescending...Inflated ego."

"...thinks he's god."

"...a shameless self-promoter, when he actually shows up to class, he likes to spend class bashing organized labour and going on and on about how much he has contributed to modern theatre."

"looses papers, Man hater, Makes False Accusations."

The Gender-Safe, Non-Offensive, Yet Somehow Free-Speech World of Theatre Department Chair Mark Kuntz (Part 1)

Upon learning of the fate of old ratty suspended Professor Mills (whom I'd hoped was long since dead so I could merely say nice things about him without suffering some terrible retaliation), I was immediately struck with curiosity concerning the key players in Mills' suspension.

Though the Provost and the Dean, having risen in the ranks, are well-fortified in their administrative bunkers, with only eight people in the world knowing what they do or why they do it, and with defensive websites repelling invaders with lists of the vicious activities of the "Capital Budget Advisory Committee" and other unspeakable horrors, their lackey professor, Theatre Department Chair Mark Kuntz, is more exposed.

He's the member of the team on the ground, doing the dirty work. He has to field the complaints, fire them up to his masters, listen to the whining, take the shots, all the while holding office hours, teaching classes, and maintaining an inviting website for students and alums that opens him to satire and ridicule, all while Provost Bodman and Dean Edwards recognize how useful is a turkey once given a title.

Having a looksy through Professor Kuntz's website, I was struck by the design, and how well it goes with his ambiguous memo quotes about "reasonable standards for and by reasonable people" and "ethical violations" and "a learning environment that embraces tolerance, safety, and freedom of speech".

I sent the site to Sean Tejaratchi, an accomplished typographer, asking him for a review of Professor Kuntz's choice of typeface, and he responded thus:

[It] is a common Art Nouveau face. I've seen it under many names, but I knew it first as Arnold Boecklin.

It's the long-term favorite of hippie designers and anyone with a feminine designer locked inside their heart. It's a nice face, but it's painfully overused in certain circles. It suggests a free-thinking soul with vague, feel-good spiritual leanings, and ESPECIALLY someone who's familiar with art school, in the Biblical sense. Just look at Kuntz' site and you'll see how well the font goes next to the unimpeachable serenity of a watercolored sunset.

It's a non-statement masquerading as a statement. It's a very, very safe typeface with no negative connotations. It's hippie-ish, but without the druggy smoke connection of later fonts. It's not the kind of font which would ever be suspended for say...wielding a knife in an irresponsible, stabby manner.

Student remarks about Professor Perry Mills, from ratemyprofessor.com

"This guy was a joke. I have learned more from listening to bums rant on the bus than when he would get going in class."

"God bless this man. If there were more people like Perry Mills in the world, it'd be a whole lot crazier, but also a little more sane in some weird way."

"...talked poorly about jesus, very anti sematic. Ate his own boogers."

"Perry F. Mills, the F stands for 'F*** off, you gucci bag toting hipsters!' He's a pirate, a rebel, a campus legend, and has the biting cynical outlook in life of Lars Von Trier."

"He hates students and his only joy in life appears to be making people feel horrible."

"He knows what he's talking about and won't accept crap from students he knows can do better."

"...a masoginistic pig..."

"Almost everything he says, cruel as it is, is freaking hilarious. People say he's insane, but really, he just has a cynical view of our generation. And why wouldn't he? We're a bunch of careless mass-consuming capitalist pigs."

"hard, i don't like his teaching style!!! Not very nice."

"Perry's awesome, you just can't show fear - I think he smells it."

"This old bitter man simply could not help himself from insulting everyone that doesn't look like an old ugly pirate. He made several students cry in my class."

"This guy is funny. I wouldn't recommend asking stupid questions. Just sit back and laugh at the people who do."

"Man, sexiest pirate teacher I've ever seen. I still get giddy when I see him smoking his cigars every morning. And that comment about wanting to get a tank and run over people on campus? Beautiful."

"'Lil girls play with barbies to prepare them for a life of servitude and 2nd class citizenship.' Be open-minded."

"Called us sheep and threatened to bring a gun and shoot us all."

"He's probably one of the few honest professors out there. Has no patience for spoiled children..."

"...a bad human being."

"...one of the best profs on campus."

The Weapon (Or: The Pocketknife)

As discussed in "The Statement of Charges", the suspension of Professor Mills hinges, overtly, on some kind of incident regarding Professor Mills and his pocketknife.

Here are statements on the matter, beginning with that from the lawsuit (pdf) of Professor Mills:

In October of the year 2000, one of my students was performing part of a play written by Tim Boyd called 'The Hitchhiker'. In the play, one of the characters removes a knife from his pocket and pursues another character off stage with the knife drawn. We were acting out this play on the stage. While acting out the scene, I took out my knife and used it to show how I thought that part of the play should be acted. I was on stage when I did this. The students present were in the audience at the time, and none of them were on the stage. There was no one within 15 feet of me when I did this. Nevertheless one of the students in the audience apparently complained to Professor Kuntz.

Now the memo (pdf) from Professor Kuntz to Professor Mills:

A student reported (and you confirmed) that you took out of your pocket a 5 inch spring action knife and displayed it in class as a means of making a point. A student received this gesture as a threatening gesture, and your actions were reported to myself and to campus police.

Your actions were in direct violation of both the faculty handbook and laws concerning the possession and display of such weapons in public education institutions.

Your bringing weapons of any kind (concealed or openly displayed), considering recent instances of violence in academic settings, invites a very strong response from your students and colleagues. I cannot think of any reason how your carrying weapons will better serve the students or the university or how these weapons might assist you in the execution of your responsibilities here.

The student also reported you continue to make off color remarks concerning your colleagues, women, gay students, and minority populations on campus.

And now the post from someone who claims to have been there during the incident in question, posted on the Western Front website:

10/24/2004

I happen to have been a witness to the "knife incident" in question, and am disgusted that

A) It was a member of my class that considered Mills's behavior with the knife to be dangerous in any way, and reported him for it,

B) A well-respected, tenured university professor apparently can't be considered responsible enough to handle a knife intelligently,

C) Mark Kuntz has the gall to pretend this is all about a knife, when the real reason was Mills making fun of Kuntz's name, and

D) Suspending Mills for the remainder of the quarter wasn't enough to satisfy Kuntz's vendetta, it had to be for Winter quarter as well. What does that come out to, one month per blade inch?

Phaedrus
Student
WWU

The Statement of Charges (In Which the Professor is Accused of Unspeakable Things)

In October 2004, Western Washington University administrators suspended Professor Perry Mills from teaching. The Western Front, WWU's student paper, broke the story.

Department chair and professor Mark Kuntz said he would not reveal the reasons for Mills' suspension because the matter concerns department personnel.

"This is to honor and protect Perry's privacy," Kuntz said. Mills tells a much different story.

"I was suspended and told to leave the campus because the department chair got a report of a student seeing (me) with a pocketknife," he said.

Mills was thereafter exiled from campus, to which he could return for his office possessions only by permission of Theatre Department Chair Mark Kuntz who, on such occasions, arranged a police escort.

Now with plenty of time on his hands, Professor Mills consulted local law enforcement officers who, upon inspecting Mills' pocketknife, determined that the tool was legal to possess under Washington State law.

However, the legality of Mills' pocketknife will later in our story be overlooked by Mr. Kuntz and other university administrators, in favor of placing the pocketknife center-stage, a nice sharp focal point around which to build evidence of Professor Mills' character, once merely gruff and unfriendly, but now allegedly dangerous and violent, a threat to the security of students, and a liability to the goals of higher education.

For eight months, the administrators responded to questions regarding Mills' suspension evasively, cherishing the pristine and easy ethical considerations of teacher and student "privacy" over the dirty and difficult ethical considerations of telling anyone why they had suspended a professor for eight months without cause.

Finally, on June 6, 2005, the crusty office of the Provost and Vice President, Andrew R. Bodman, issued Mills a Statement of Charges, available here. (pdf)

As we have already learned, the Statement of Charges would lean heavily on the pocketknife (about which we will hear testimony later), thus charging the Good Provost's Statement with an electrifying appeal, a tangible excitement in prose that Provosts are seldom allowed to express, not for their lack of interest in the literary craft, but for the lack of exciting material that presents itself to them at insignificant backwater state colleges of sparse acclaim. So that when a non-mediocre figure comes along, calling students funny names, and carrying a pocketknife to boot, it allows the administrator, who once was young and still remembers the thrill of colorful life since turned gray, to rise to the occasion, at once expressing the power of his position (that he has spent so long in attaining), while also allowing him to write memos that don't simply make him tired after lunch.

The Provost's Statement of Charges against Professor Mills kicks off with clear direction and no sass, stating that Provost Andrew R. Bodman, Dean Carol Edwards, and Theatre Chair Mark Kuntz collectively hold the view that Professor Mills' "behavior and conduct towards students and fellow faculty falls substantially below the standards to which faculty should be held."

From here, however, the memo moves into nebulous realms. There were complaints "lodged". These complaints were forwarded from Professor Kuntz to Dean Edwards to Provost Bodman. Professor Mills had "waved a knife around". This was "threatening, inappropriate and concerning." Provost Bodman reported that Dean Edwards reported that Professor Kuntz reported that "library staff had reported to him that they were very uncomfortable in having to work with Professor Mills" who was "menacing and threatening".

As if brutalizing the frail psyches of librarians weren't enough, we next learn that Professor Mills did not exempt faculty of the weaker sex from his abusive, derogatory, and hostile words. According to the report, Mills called a fellow professor a "bimbo", "slut", and "once even 'cunt'". This professor reported to Dean Edwards that she's heard Mills call his students "shit-for-brains", "blondies", "faggot", and one overweight student "a 400 pound canary who warbles nothingness".

Having now determined that, in his reckless manner of offending everyone, he has also been discovered offending frail and helpless women, mentally-challenged students, gays, and fat people, Provost Bodman closes the memo with direct official pluck, having trotted out a cast of victims so sanctified that to now put in a word for Professor Mills might be like bringing a boxcutter to the airport.

It took eight questionably unlawful months for Provost Bodman to state the charges against Professor Mills, but it appears his time was well-spent in calculation.

The Headsman's Tale

A strange and terrible account of sloth, indifference, greed and revenge.

By Jack Ketch

Act I – The Unblinking Eye

In which the inexorable march of technology runs afoul of cloistered bureaucracy in the medieval dungeons of Mabel Zoe Wilson.

On or about the penultimate decade of the Old Millennium in a small cottage near the northern shores of Lake Whatcom, a humble lecturer dwelt in penury. His name was Perry Mills and he labored among the ivy-covered halls and moss-covered scholars of the University of Western Washington, a vast edifice of scholarship that still towers at the summit of Sehome Hill looking over the now-abandoned slag heaps, toxic sludge ponds and decaying pulp factory of the little town of Bellingham which itself was widely known as a nice liberal town with the highest population of serial killers per capita in the continental United States of America.

Mills was a large, shambling, irascible hulk of a man who limped about in a fog of malevolent cigar smoke. He had a piratical beard, hands the size of Easter hams, a metal brace on his leg, a head whose size was the despair of haberdashers and one terrible eye that was rumored to see around corners.

He also possessed a great fondness for his companion, Linda, the many cats who shared their home with him, home-brewed beer of ferocious power, the literature written in beams of light across the silver screen, largecaliber handguns, dramatic irony, good food, sharp knives and extremely fast motorcycles, though not necessarily always in that particular order.

At the University, he abided amongst the denizens of the Theatre Department and at first lectured and later professed film studies, functional literacy (a great rarity in those parts), play writing, interdisciplinary liberal arts, and popular culture, as well as a great loathing for dogs, timidity, self-promotion, arrogant clerks, most of the white race, all politicians, and any technology more complex and arcane than fire or a sharp stick.

To further witness the gruesome horrors of this strange account of madness and treachery, continue here...(pdf, 157K)

Introduction to the Good Professor Mills (as Pertains to the Interest of a Student)


In a sleepy little Northwest village called Bellingham, in the almost-forgotten state of Washington, lies a mediocre, middle-sized, almost wholly unremarkable educational factory called Western Washington University.

It was here that I fled for refuge after graduating from high-school, where my inquisitive nature and passion for higher education soon saw my class attendance drop to the bare minimum while I got stoned with the poets that lurked in the woods, and ate acid by the ream.

Despite never writing a single paper during my two years there, I maintained B grades. WWU and I apparently had a decent, wink-wink, win-win sort of relationship in which I paid the administration, did almost no work, and got decent grades from the faculty, about whom I remember almost nothing. There were some characters, like the Holly Hobby-dress-wearing anthropology teacher who would only talk about Brunei, or the literature professor who wore smart gloves, had a little moustache, and carried himself like a Frenchman, but I don't remember learning much from them and I certainly offered little in return. My university career at Western followed this pattern, until I took Theatre Arts 201.

Like other students, I took the film studies class as an elective, so I could get university credit for watching movies. The class was infamous for being easy, and it was in this spirit of apathy that I wandered into class in my Guatemalan sweater with my beads and my ponytail and my patchouli a few times a week to watch Battleship Potemkin, Chinatown, and Siesta.


The professor, Perry Mills, was a brute with a glass eye and a platform shoe
assisting one mutant leg, and he wore the same smelly paisley shirt each class. His extreme ugliness was matched only by his extreme passion for film. It was obvious by his playful monologues that he cared about these films deeply, or at least cared about some aspect of these films deeply, and he became excited when students became excited about these movies.

But as the course progressed, it became obvious that the loose grades were not without cost. (Perry used almost exactly the same test every year, and would pass out last year's test a few days beforehand.) Raising one's hand in response to one of Mills' questions, saying something, and thus participating in the Pavlovian call-and-response that passes for intellectual dialogue at American universities, did not fly with Professor Mills.

"That's the stupidest thing I've heard this year," Mills would say in response to a student's normally-useful rhetoric.

On other occasions, Mills would call us "a bunch of baseball-cap-wearing yuppie maggots from the I-5 corridor" and describe in extended fantastic monologues the terrible things our parents had done to get the money so that we could go to college and watch films that we would never understand because we were just going to get jobs and make babies anyway.

I had never seen such a teacher. I had never seen a teacher gleefully describe how he would ride his bicycle across campus, veering toward clusters of students to make them scatter like the pigeons they were. I had never seen a teacher openly describe to a class of students the bullshit he was involved in with an administration who simply didn't like his style. I had never seen a teacher treat me as an equal, and then go for my jugular when I proved by my pretensions that I wasn't.

Mills never seemed to hold a grudge, probably because he could hardly discern one idiot from the next, and his verbal lunges had the quality of sport rather than personal attack. Each new class was a fresh match, with previous animosities forgotten. This was intellectual dialogue at its best.

I took a Playwriting class from him later, and not only did he teach his subject well and with passion, but he laid bare the machinations of my "education" that I was too ignorant to ferret out on my lonesome. In retrospect, Mills surely had some influence in my immediate delight upon later discovering Mark Twain, Florence King, Jonathan Swift, James Abbott McNeill Whistler, J.P. Donleavy, Ayn Rand, Hunter Thompson, and H.L. Mencken. Curmudgeons the lot of them, I may have never sought them were it not for Professor Mills, and may have remained satisfied with Jack Kerouac, Herman Hesse, Jim Morrison, and other literary sedatives I was engaged by at the time.

Perry Mills frightened me, and is without question the best professor I've ever had.

Now on to the bloody meat of the story:

For years the administration of Western Washington University has tried to tame Professor Perry Mills, to threaten him with inconveniences and minor penalties for his unorthodox methods, and to dangle treats and promises of a nice soft life should he abandon these methods. Mills delights in this game, and has kept it up since the last time I saw him, almost 15 years ago. But something changed after the 11th of September in 2001, in which the subsequent lockdown tactics of Homeland Security and the resulting ripples of social paranoia have found Mills suspended for carrying a pocketknife. Not a machete in one hand and a student's head in the other. A pocketknife.

This is not, after all, simply a nostalgic story about my fondness for a professor, but an illustrative tale about how a national social doctrine can be used for effective housekeeping, sweeping out the nooks and crannies typically troublesome to get to. In the new milieu, it's suddenly easy to get rid of a pesky professor on campus. And this is a story about how those players assisting the sweeping maintain only the noblest motives.

This blog specifically chronicles a university's bureaucratic process of booting a tenured professor from his post, as well as the old dog's attempts to dig in his heels and stay put, but is more generally a fansite for an obscure professor very influential to a handful of students each year.