Monday, September 12, 2005


I suspect the addition of a crate of PDF files on the side links will tempt only those familiar with Professor Mills, so here's some highlights:

The Syllabus

We will aspire rather than compromise, excell instead of settle-for and we will write the best piece of dramatic intensity the world has ever suffered through......and in doing, we will focus every ounce of intellectual and artistic energy we possess upon the work. If we do not, we are no better than a pack of animals and we deserve to die unread and unheard. Get busy.

Mills' Eval of Dept. Chair Mark Kuntz

(In which the Professor gives Kuntz a One-to-Five rating of Three for Scheduling; Zeros in most cases, and a Minus One in Handling Budget Resources. It could be that Professor Mills' unholy evaluation of Kuntz in April 2003 has something to do with Kuntz's unholy suspension of Mills presently.)

He will say ANYTHING in order to further his own selfish ends; I consider him a liar and worse (see section on the budget) and lament that such persons are deemed necessary to the running of an academic unit. He is flawlessly polite, oily to the point of extreme unction and untrustworthy in any situation....Fire this phony, now.

Kuntz' Memo After September 11th

Or: Mark Kuntz Implies That People Are Terrorists Who Aren't
Or: Mark McCarthy Knows a Good Angle When He Sees It

I am concerned about the safety of our students, staff, and faculty.

Last week our nation learned some tough lessons as we were aware of a potential terrorist threat, but were without the resolve to act on that threat. Our culture prefers to act after substantial damage has occurred, so that the removal of the threat is clearly defined and a call to action has substantial momentum.

Perry Mills represents that kind of threat on campus. The level of threat Perry represents is not clear, and a course of action is very difficult if not dangerous itself.

A Student Letter of Support for Mills

I'm writing this letter in order to recommend Perry Mills for whatever it is he wants to be recommended for....Getting along with Perry is often a chore. He is not easily impressed or easily endeared.

Another Student Letter of Support for Mills

To Whom It May Concern:

Dear Sir,

Perry Mills is of the old school, in the tradition of the Academy, Cambridge, and Gottingen. This means that he demands scholarship from self and students, and it is disheartening to see the majority (who are fools) attempt to wheedle out of the higher learning, or to see his administrative superiors discontinue his interdisciplinary studies program. He is the only force I have met at this university that insists that one engage the material. Among the priceless multitude of ideas introduced to me by Professor Mills, both in and out of class, are works by the following:

Paul Fussell, Richard Mitchell, Scott Buchanan, Ben Shahn, Friedrich Nietzsche, Aeschylus, Sophocles, H.L. Mencken, Arthur Koestler, Jean Anouilh, Jean Cocteau, J.P. Sartre, and Florence King.

If this list is recognized to be one composed of pessimistic and notorious nonconformists with anger management problems, so be it: this little note is not addressed to you. But if these names are friends, then consider this: Do you know how difficult it is now to free one's self from the mires of this technocratic disinformation age and get some real answers?...If it had not been for Professor Mills I would not have found these authors.

Let me make this little note perfectly clear: Professor Mills deserves a full professorship with all its attendant privileges and proper remunerations.

Thank you for your attention,

Max M. Strumia
Department of Mathematics

Mills' Tenure Eval

The strengths of the contributions that Mr. Mills makes to the Theatre Arts Department in the area of Teaching are as follows:

Generates large SCH numbers in GUR class
Is well read in 20th Century philosophy and theory
Often appeals to bright non-traditional students
Offers academically prepared and challenging classes
Promotes the importance of critical thinking and writing skills in theatre curriculum

The weaknesses of the contributions that Mr. Mills makes to the Theatre Arts Department in the area of Teaching are as follows:

Uses foul language with and, on occasion, toward students
Employs a combative style with students as a central part of methodology
Discusses other faculty members with students in a derogatory and demeaning manner
Enjoys his wit at the expense of students
Extremely high student complaint rate (formal and informal)
Berates and demeans students in the guise of humor

The Large Invisible Antique Screwdriver by Perry Mills, Auditioned by Dean Edwards

[In a meeting with Provost Bodman, Dean Edwards, and lawyers for Plaintiff and Defendant, Mills] indicated that he owned a large antique screwdriver with which he could easily kill someone by driving it into the victim's brain, and while he said this, he mimicked with his hands, while looking at his hands, how he would handle it, lifting his hand with the invisible screwdriver in it, and then hitting the table hard with his fist closed around the invisible screwdriver. He looked up at us from looking at his hand, and indicated he could probably kill anyone with anything that was available. His presentation was alarming....I personally felt fearful in his presence given what he said and how he behaved."

1 comment:

Spartacus O'Neal said...

The cosmic battle between good and evil, between leading and embezzling, between service and sycophancy. Didn't someone write a play about this once?